Tag: praying mantis

Mini Praying Mantis Finger Puppet

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Mini Praying Mantis Finger Puppet
I can’t be the only one who is creeped out by the Praying Mantis. It is just wrong and creepy. Get it away. Get that Mini Praying Mantis Finger Puppet out of my face. *Sprays raid all over your face* I warned you. You’re gonna wanna put some milk on that. Sorry, I’m all out.

What the hell are they praying for anyway? Even more nightmarish looks? They describe this toy as “Great fun for toddlers and children”. More like “Great fun for the therapists that are gonna get rich cuz your kid is traumatized for life”. And you know why too. F**k Praying Mantises!
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Praying Mantises Are Killing Birds Worldwide And Eating Their Brains

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Praying Mantises Are Killing Birds Worldwide And Eating Their Brains
So basically Praying Mantises have been biding their time and now that the end is nigh, they are going full zombie and eating the brains of birds all over the world. Seems legit. They no doubt plan on eating bird brains until they absorb all of their flying powers and then we will have a new species that can poop on our heads. Great.

More like Preying Mantises. Am I right? Look at that pic. Dude is just munching on that bird brain as it hangs there. That would be like me hanging out a second story window with my teeth gripping a cow by the head, instead of just having a burger. It’s just showboating, which is why Mantises and me will never get along. Showoff zombie vermin!
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Porcelain Figurines With Insect Heads

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Porcelain Figurines With Insect Heads
Etsy seller CuriousCryptidCurios makes all kinds of cool and freaky and trippy Porcelain Figurines With Insect Heads. Or as I like to call Miss Mantis’ work…Chantilly lace and a Mantis Face. These don’t look like my grandma’s figurines. Well, there was that one day. Visiting grandma’s house on LSD is NOT recommended. I spent half the walk there trying to get rid of a big bad wolf who had the swirling cosmos behind it’s hooded cowl.

Over the river and through the woods, to Grandmother’s house we go…Insane! Once I got there the Praying Mantis figures greeted me, we had dinner, talked with the elf elders from behind the cupboard and finally worshiped at the altar of my grandmother’s dentures on the sink. Good times. David Lynch was there, as were various melty things like reality itself. You gotta do what ya gotta do to deal with grandma’s stories.
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