While checking Mars images captured by the Curiosity Mars Rover, somebody spotted a strange humanoid figure that looks exactly like a woman in a striped shirt laying on some rocks and looking at the rover. Damn that is eerie. Is it proof of life on Mars?Proof that Dr.seuss lives there? Proof that they film this stuff in the desert and some dude’s wife was just posing for a shot? I think we can conclude that it’s this last one. Damn, she’s a snazzy dresser. You got yourself a real catch Mr. fake Mars footage guy. Just don’t say beetlejuice 3 times.
Tag: woman
Grow Yourself Some Sexy Woman-Shaped Peppers
I have no idea what the hell is going on here, but I like it. I like it a lot. Apparently some mad scientist has created a seed that will let you grow some peppers that are shaped like sexy woman bodies. I call it the “Pervy Pepper”. It is one voluptuous vegetable. Sexy time and gardening collide at long last. I’m gonna grow a bunch and dress them in little bikinis so I can impress my neighbors. Not this one though cuz damn!
Frankenstein Spider Doll With Victims
What has 6 eyes, 6 arms and two legs, a bunch of stitches and dinner twitching all around it? The Frankenstein Spider Doll. I don’t know if she’s poisonous or not, but she has style.
Guys, I don’t want to scare you but I think I might have the whole Spider-Man thing going on. I was bit by a spider one time and I spent the whole day spinning web out of my butt and bouncing up and down on one strand.
“That was the day you were Peter Pan in the school play. You also had tacos! That janitor was 2 days away from retirement.”
Okay, how do you explain that I would grab a hunk of meat out of the fridge, use both hands to spin a saran wrap cocoon around it and then suck the blood dry?
“That was your ‘I’m afraid to touch meat’ phase, which coincided with your ‘I’m afraid to chew meat’ phase. Basically you are a neurotic and hypochondriac idiot!”
I don’t know what that means, but fine. You still can’t explain why my spider abdomen got so huge overnight.
“Because your spider abdomen is full of half priced booze and stuffed crust pizza. And by overnight, you must mean every night.”
How do you explain my presence on the world wide web then. Hah! I win!
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Realistic Mouth In Glass
This Realistic mouth is…Realistic. Creepy realistic. Is it bad that I want to kiss it? Don’t worry my sweet, I’m a lover not a biter. Damn, this girl is all chin. I didn’t notice at first, but holy chin dynasty! I think we found that moon dude from the old McDonalds commercials. “It’s Mac tonight!”
No wonder they put this realistic mouth under glass. She’s a Jay Leno cloning experiment gone wrong. Or gone right I guess. The scientists were all like, “Get it under a dome quick!” Then Jay Leno walked in all whiny voiced and prissy like he does, “Hey guyth, whath going on? Any luck with my soulmate yet?”
“Just go for another ride around the block in one of your old cars Mister Leno. We’ll let you know.” *Whispers* “Never tell him. Their chins must not collide!” *Makes large explosion motion with hands*