This is just the kind of weird art that we love. When was the last time you saw dark violin art that looked this cool? At a Yo Yo Ma concert? These violins from EngraversDungeonArt are more like Yo Yo WTF! I’ve never seen a musical instrument looking so cool and creepy. They have several designs available to grace your gothic halls and walls. Just be aware that this is a limited edition piece, with only 50 pieces that will ever be created and painted. So you better be quick about it. If you miss out, I’m just gonna laugh at you and play the world’s tiniest violin. You don’t want that because it sounds like a bunch of alley cats in heat and all in a pile doing the nasty, and they are not having fun. You ever hear that? Thank your lucky stars that you have not. Your ears would never be the same. Ask my former music teacher. Well, you could have asked him, but sadly now he’s deaf and shaking in a rubber room somewhere. This art is absolutely stunning, though. No bones about it. This classes up your castle while adding just the right amount of beautiful darkness.
Tag: art
Creepy Face Plaque To Make Your Walls Crawl
This Creepy Face Plaque goes on your wall to make it seem like some creeper is watching you from another room. This would be the one that you know about anyway. I can’t tell if he’s startled by what he’s seen or happy about it, but he’s definitely seen some sh*t. Oh yeah, you’ve seen some caca if you’re watching me. You have no idea. That’s gotta suck not being able to scratch your own nose though, so maybe help him out from time to time. Give him a little scratch is all I’m saying. A little tickle now and then. I would personally hide this on the inside of a cabinet door to scare the hell out of anyone trying to steal my snacks. So I hereby name him Snack Guardian. This creepy face plaque kinda reminds me of the old lady in the Goonies. He really should get more sleep. I mean look at those bags under the eyes. Look at that skin? Would a little moisturizer kill ya? I’m talking about some simple self care my man. No one else will love you until you love you. That’s all I’m saying. Even your damn lips are chapped.
Bizarre Fingercrab Sculpture
Check out this Bizarre Fingercrab Sculpture. It’s not only giving you the finger but all five of ’em. Except they’re all scaly and gross. What do you expect from fingers that live in a shell. Is this a Hermit Crab? More like a Dermit Crab, cuz it looks like it has a serious case of dermatitis. It’s well-manicured, I’ll give it that. Then I’ll give it a high five and that shell will snatch my hand, and replace it with this scaly nightmare. That’s how it lives forever see.
It could be much worse though. It could be a weird Hermit crab with a peen or five hanging out the shell. *shudders* Hell no. If I saw that, I’d have to smash it with a ball-peen hammer. Cuz that’s the only way to smash a Hermit-Peen horror. Five peen Freddy will become 4 peen Franky real quick. I wonder who does these Fingercrab Sculpture nails and if I can get their number. If you got a finger fetish, and you probably do if you are lingering here, also check out the very strange and odd Fingerboy Horror Sculpture. I gave them both the finger, cuz I don’t give a f**k!
Demon Hit By Dart Magnet – You Win
Demon hunting is hard. But it’s much easier when you can get ’em in front of the dartboard. This Demon Hit By Dart Magnet wins you the game every time. Hitting the bullseye doesn’t mean crap unless you impale an evil creature on the way there. I’m not sure how many points that is worth though. Probably depends on how evil it is and what level of hell it’s from. The trick is to get them to stay still while you lob darts at their evil asses. I guess you have to glue them in place or tie them up. Maybe have a priest say a few words to hold them in place. You have to give it to the creator of this magnet. It looks awesome. Creepy as hell, but cool too. That’s some great execution! Get it? If this evil creature enjoyed beer it would be an impaled ale. Know what I’m sayin’? I wonder if demonic darts will ever catch on in the finest bars and pubs. And what would you do with those little bodies afterward? Somebody should play some darts with this demonic doll. I’m out. Gotta go play some darts myself. I have several targets.
Canned Mermaids – Sardine Dames
Who wants a tin of canned mermaids? Looks pretty crowded in there. I bet these dames are tasty though. Very salty probably. I like the old-timey hair. That’s how you know they’ve been in there for a while. Well, that and the smell. Okay, close that up! Oh crap, you can’t close the tin once it’s opened. It smells like the ocean farted and made every whale barf. Open a window and grab my gas mask. Look at them! A chorus line of ca-ca fouling my space!
At first, I thought these Canned Mermaids were canned, as in fired. But then I wondered why you never see any mermaid maids. Then I fell asleep and spilled my whiskey. Thought I peed myself, but nope. Then squeezed the crotch area on my pants and recycled my drink, cuz I love the Earth. So it’s been a full day.
Do the can can can! Do the can can can!