Articulated Misfits Devil Rat Doll

 Articulated Misfits Devil Rat Doll

Now you can have your very own Articulated Misfits Devil Rat Doll. Why the hell not? Like I don’t have enough problems without some Devil Rat doll coming to life and doing the freaky deeky all up in here. Sure its cool looking. Both cute and evil at the same time. But no good can come from this thing. I’ve had pets like this before, so I know what I’m talking about. Like that rat clock. It’s always terror time around here.

It is creepy cool. Plus he wont leave droppings everywhere like a real rat. You won’t have to say rats! and clean it up. Or drats. Or even bats. Or tell him yo scat! Get it? That’s some poop humor right there. Probably why I feel flushed. heh! I still got it.

Demon Hit By Dart Magnet – You Win

Demon Hit By Dart Magnet - You Win
Demon hunting is hard. But it’s much easier when you can get ’em in front of the dartboard. This Demon Hit By Dart Magnet wins you the game every time. Hitting the bullseye doesn’t mean crap unless you impale an evil creature on the way there. I’m not sure how many points that is worth though. Probably depends on how evil it is and what level of hell it’s from. The trick is to get them to stay still while you lob darts at their evil asses. I guess you have to glue them in place or tie them up. Maybe have a priest say a few words to hold them in place. You have to give it to the creator of this magnet. It looks awesome. Creepy as hell, but cool too. That’s some great execution! Get it? If this evil creature enjoyed beer it would be an impaled ale. Know what I’m sayin’? I wonder if demonic darts will ever catch on in the finest bars and pubs. And what would you do with those little bodies afterward? Somebody should play some darts with this demonic doll. I’m out. Gotta go play some darts myself. I have several targets.

The Devil Tarot Card Duvet Cover

The Devil Tarot Card Duvet Cover
They say that the devil is in the details. I say he’s in your bed and this Devil Tarot Card Duvet Cover is proof. I’ve never done a tarot reading in bed before, but I have done a tarot reader in bed. *Rolls eyebrows up and down.* Not much reading got done that night, but I spent a fortune. *Rim shot* I’ll be here all week.

Seriously though, I’ve heard a lot of weird stuff about the devil: That he went down to Georgia, that he wears a blue dress, that he has his own eggs, but I’ve never heard of a devil on a duvet. Good luck getting sleep under that thing.

Devil Phone Gives You a Direct Line To Hell

devil phoneThis art piece is appropriately called “He Only Calls Me When He’s Horny“. For the record, I just get busy. I mean to call, but then I get distracted by work, video games, action figures, and writing Star Wars fan-fiction, in that order. By then my schedule is clear enough to fit some other things in. It’s just a coincidence that I’m horny at that time. It has nothing to do with Jar-Jar fisting an Ewok.

Now that that is clear, this phone looks like the devil. And it is totally horny. For some extra creepy reason, it has a soundboard inside that makes it cry like a baby. Only $250.

Weird Knife/Pipe Black Magic Ritual Tool

Weird Knife/Pipe Black Magic Ritual ToolSometimes when you are smoking you just want to cut a b**ch. Apparently that’s the idea behind this weird devil/demon item, which is a combination smoking pipe and knife. This thing sold for $20 recently. The bowl of the pipe is between his legs and the other end of the pipe comes out his butt. So, you would basically be sucking demon-butt to get a hit. I can’t imagine that would taste like Marlboro. Well, at least you are keeping his colon clean.

This freaky demon has a single horn coming out of its head and animal pelt for hair. The top of the head is actually a knife that you can pull up to reveal a stainless steel blade. To top it all off, those teeth are REAL.

This thing belongs in the smoking room of some Secret Society where they can pass it back and forth and play sick games. And I ain’t talking twister and Yahtzee.

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