Tag: bat

Bat Wine Aerator – Spread Your Wings and Drink

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Bat Wine Aerator - Spread Your Wings and Drink
I don’t know about you, but I could use a drink. But sadly I don’t have a cool wine aerator in the shape of a bat that will pour the wine out of its mouth. But wait. Here it is my friends. The Bat Wine Aerator. Because it is always drink o’clock, especially on Halloween night when all those kids dressed up as ghouls and goblins come around begging for candy. Get a job! I yell and then BAM eggs all over my door. Why you little- Anyway, this little bat buddy will help you get your drink on. He looks pretty happy about it too.

This will look great in your home bar. Or even in your home bars if you are reading this from prison, in which case you can’t drink wine. *Points and says HAHA*. Please don’t come and get me when you are out on parole. Anyway, so now you have a cool bat wine aerator, but how do you open that bottle? I have the answer. The Bat Wine Opener.

Halloween Bat Wine Opener

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Halloween Bat Wine Opener
Halloween is the battiest bat-tastic time of year. That’s why I always use this Goth gift wrap that is covered in bats. It is frighteningly festive. And this Halloween Bat Wine Opener is the perfect way to open that bottle of blood-red wine after you’ve watched your horror movies and handed out treats to all of the little demons on Halloween night. Just grab your bat-friend, spread those wings, and open up your wine. That sweet tipsy feeling is on the way. The best bats always help you get drunk, and this little guy is no different. It’s like he is flying while he is opening your wine. Wings up, wings down, I’m gonna get drunk and hit the town. Come with me Batty Boy Halloween Bat Wine Opener.

I’m more of a whine guy myself, rather than a wine guy.

Bat Ouija Board – Go Batty Summoning Spirits

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Bat Ouija Board - Go Batty Summoning Spirits
Check out this Bat Ouija Board. Now you can summon bat spirits as well as human spirits. I’m guessing. Not that you’ll get any answers from bats since it will all come out as E-E-K and E-E-E-E-K. Thanks for the wisdom guys. Did you just phantom guano on my shoulder? Yeah, that’s ectoplasmic bat scat, alright. I wonder if you can summon Batman with this thing. It would probably just tell me I had the wrong number. But you know me, I’ll keep trying until it blocks me.

This Ouija board will look awesome in a seance room or any room or belfry. Perfect for Halloween too. Go batty with it. I hope you talk to some chatty batties. Does it actually summon bats? Like some Jedi-Master spirit bat that can impart wisdom. Because that isn’t hard to do. Heck, I can summon a wise old bat without a spirit board. I’ll just call my mother. Whoa. Wait a minute… Is that what a motherboard is? Is it a board that summons mothers? That could be good, because there are definitely some milfs I’d like to summon if you know what I’m saying and I think you do. Check out more spirit boards.

Gothic Lace Bat Ornament

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Gothic Lace Bat Ornament
Here’s some gothic lace for ya gothic face! To display in ya gothic place! Or ya gothic space. Just look at how awesome this thing is. This Gothic Lace Bat Ornament is sexy and lacey. It looks like the wings move too. Kind of like lingerie for your home. MMMM MMM girl. You know just what I like to come home to. I don’t even want you to take it off. This blood-red lace ornament is going to look good in your castle. Personally, I’d like to see this as a bra and panty set. Can somebody make that happen? So sexy. Get’s my blood pumping. Wait, that’s just the red bull causing a minor cardiac infartion. Haha. I said in-fart-ion. Help me!

I’m dreaming that I come home to a beautiful redhead wearing this… It’s for the home, that’s right. Just for decoration. I have to focus. This Gothic Lace Bat Ornament is just so sexy I can’t help it. I have a real problem. I feel the same way about these bat wing sunglasses.

Creepy Valentines Day Cards – Coffin Cards

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Creepy Valentines Day Cards - Coffin Cards
These Valentines Day cards are coffin cards and are a great way to celebrate Valentine’s Day. The seller makes all kinds of gothic and creepy cards for all occasions. They all look amazing. This one says I’m Batty For You. That’s why this one is going out to all of our readers because it’s true. I’m also bratty for you. And fatty for you, since I ate the candy I was going to give you. Just open this chilling card, write your message inside and send it off to your Valentine. Your batty valentine. Preferably valentines day cards should be sent by bat. If you don’t have a bat, the mailman will have to do. Maybe glue some bat wings to his uniform when he turns to go.

People don’t send enough cards these days. Darn kids. All they want to do is smash on their tic tocs with some guy name Liga Johnson. I just don’t get it. What I do get is that these are some cool greeting cards. Or are they bleeting cards? Bats bleet right? That’s a word right? That’s a thing. I think. Well, it’s a thing now. Send one to someone you love today.