Your friends and family might not believe your alien abduction story, but don’t worry, we do. No need to show us your wrecked-um. Commemorate the event with this UFO Abduction pendant for your necklace! These pendants are hand-sculpted and have a glow-in-the-dark beam on the front (ultra cool). It comes with a cord, but you can put it on any necklace. And if those butt-buggers come back for you, they will know that you know cuz they’ll see this pendant. It ain’t gonna stop no butt-stuff, but they may think twice. I’m inventing a butt gun that attaches in your underwear so that when somebody pulls your pants down and spreads your mud-cheeks they get blasted. Problem is that in testing I keep shooting the toilet out from under me when I take a s**t.
Tag: bizarre
Vintage Looking Haunted Doll With Sound
Love scaring the ones around you? Have you always been a lover of all things creepy? Of course you are, that’s why you’re here. As Halloween approaches, you may be looking for some spooky décor to really bring out the holiday spirit and also scare the hell out of people. This Haunted Doll prop is sure to get the blood pumping and will give you the satisfaction of creeping out your guests! This doll comes with sound effects and takes AA batteries, which are included. The height is 15 inches. Kick off Halloween with a scream caused by a well-placed Haunted Doll! It says “Come play with me.” “I’m watching you.” and “You drop me and I broke and that made me angry.”
Handmade Skull Soap
You probably don’t pay much attention to the bar of soap you have in your shower. That is about to change. This Handmade Skull Soap will add some terror to your tub. And some scream to your shower. Lather up with the face of horror my friends. It’s made of goat milk and fear. Lots of fear.
Cryptid Crate Gives You Monthly Cryptids
I can’t help but think of this Cryptid crate as the mother of all gifts. It is a collection of various cryptid items wrapped up in a single package. There’s a new one every month. There are stickers with illustrations of Bigfoot, Mothman, and the Lake Champlain Monster, plus a spice called “Chupacabra Rub and Seasoning”. There are also pins and Bigfoot socks as well. I question the wisdom behind naming a pair of socks “Bigfoot socks” granted how small a human’s feet are (see what I did there).
Clown Head Bath Bombs
After a long hectic working day, nothing feels as relaxing as removing your socks and putting on loose clothes. That’s for the gents. For ladies, it’s got to be unhooking the old bra and letting the girls swing loose. I’m just guessing. Breast case scenario, you let the old fun-bags out and hit the bathtub. Relax and draw a bath. Get out one of these horrifying Clown Head Bath Bombs. And if you can still relax after that, enjoy your evening.