Tag: bowl

Realistic Skull Dish

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Realistic Skull Dish
Hey skull dish, I’m gonna put candy in your brain hole and let people pick your brain. I just think it will be weird. Gotta keep my reputation as the local weirdo after all, or as the local police like to refer to me. “Code 71. Named for the year of my birth. Which I may be lying about just to throw you all off. I may be 60 years old. Then again I may be 22. Blog stars need privacy is all I’m sayin’.

*Screech. Crackle.* All units be advised. We have a code 71 in progress. Now the damn fool is making dogs eat from some kind of fake skull in the park, which is attached to his shirt making it look like he has a skull head. It is making old people vomit. Use of deadly force is authorized. Please use deadly force.

Monster Shaving Kit

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

monster shaving kit
It’s been like two weeks since I shaved, so I probably need a Monster Shaving Kit. Something that’s going to eye me up while I lather up the shaving cream in it’s head. Are you giving me the stink-eye monster? Cuz your eyeing me up and it reeks in here. Oh, sorry. That was me. I farted.

You are one scary piece of pottery my friend. I say that because of the glazed look you’re throwing in my direction. You’re making me nervous. Ow! Now you made me cut myself. I’ll just catch the droplets with your head. Uh-oh. Should you be bubbling all evil-like when blood collects in you? Like you are about to come to life? This is not good at all.

Don’t Look Away From Your Cereal: Boo Ghost Ceramic Bowl

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

boo ghost bowlI love the Super Mario games, but Boo scares the hell out of me. You face him, he freezes, you turn away and he comes closer. Stop doing that. It’s creepy. Just face me head on. Enough with that stalking stuff already. Really I’m just mad because this is the same exact thing I do when I see a lady I like.

Get out of my way jerk. I remain frozen. She turns to leave. I follow. She looks back. I freeze. Interesting fact: Police don’t really “get” that game. Anywho, this is a rad bowl to eat from while playing some Super Mario. Only $35. They also have Bob-omb, the Piranha Plant and Chain Chomp.