There’s nothing better than seeing your own reflection framed by a pair of skeletons just hanging around as if they’re admiring your beauty. And why wouldn’t they? That is one beautiful man-face if I do say so myself. I just realized that this Mirrored Skeleton Candle Holder would have the candle obscuring my face, but that’s okay, I’m secure enough in my good looks that no one can hold a candle to me. I don’t mean to wax on about it. Let me just light that candle and have one more look. Gotta lean in close and get a good gander. AHHHHH. IT BURNS! IT BURNS! And now you have heard the story of how I came to have a profession where I don’t need to show my face. Cuz now I have a face that’s only good for blogging and radio. Let this be a cautionary tale about unrestrained vanity and a man who peered too close to the sun for one last glimpse of perfection. JK I look effin beautiful. I make my livin’ off this face. I let blind people feel it so they can orgasm. True story.
Tag: candle holder
Stranger Things Eleven Bleeding Nose Candle
You been watching Stranger Things? Don’t worry, I won’t spoil it for you. I’ll just say get ready for a lot of Eggo waffles and nose bleeds. Am I right? I swear I even saw Eleven wipe her damn bleeding nose with a waffle. Crazy show. Now you can watch Eleven use her powers and light your room at the same time with this cool Stranger Things Eleven Bleeding Nose Candle. I wasn’t gonna feature this, but hey, if it bleeds it leads right? This thing bleeds from both nostrils as the candle burns down.
Winged Skeleton Double Candle Holder
What the-? This Winged Skeleton Double Candle Holder just flew down and set itself on my mantle guys. I’m serious. This isn’t like the time I drank 2 bottles of nyquil because I thought I had early onset arthritis. Dude is pretty badass. He’s all like, Pfft I’ll hold your candles and make this shizz look heavy metal! Dude is totally macabre. I bet he has a huge wingspan too. Not that that matters. It’s not how big your wings are, but how you use ’em.
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Super Terrifying Cat Candle Holder
This cat candle holder is scary as hell, with the glowing eyes, crazy attitude and Mr. T gold chain. Oh and the bat wings. It’s nom nom time and fluffy isn’t f**king around! The only string this cat wants to play with is your intestines. Probably looks crazy as hell with a candle in him. It will probably scare any mice you have away for good.
Brain Candle Holder
Where are my keys? I would forget my brain if it wasn’t holding my candle. Good thing it is, thanks to this Brain Candle Holder that looks like a giant brain meatball that got impaled with a candle. Sorry I forgot to turn the light on, my brain was under it. Hang on a sec. Are we sure that isn’t just a lump of raw meat?
Whatevs. I’m buying one. Cuz I’m brainy like that. I just don’t leave mine on the table so any Tom, Dick or Harry can attach a light to it.