Tag: candle holder

Awesome Cat Candle Holder

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Awesome Cat Candle Holder
This Cat Candle Holder is both scary and amazingly awesome. He has his bat-cape whirled around him like he…just…don’t…give a flying monkey turd. He knows he’s badass, and now you know it. Whatcha gonna do about it? Well, I’mma put a candle in this thing and let him light up my room. That’s how I roll. Is it a bat or is it a cat? He has the body of a cat, but the attitude of a bat.

Probably plays with string for hours and then goes and hangs upside down for a nap, dropping his guano in his litterbox from the ceiling.
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Pumice Stone Skull Candle Holder

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Pumice Stone Skull Candle Holder
This Pumice Stone Skull Candle Holder is awesome. Looks like an old grey castle where a witch lives. I bet my wife is moving in there. It looks pretty cool all lit up. Like it would talk to you in a booming voice that only you can hear.

WHO DARES AWAKE THE MIGHTY SKULL OF DOOM?

Uh…Me? I guess me, yeah.

OH! WELL COME BACK IN AN HOUR, I”M BEAT!

Stoned more like. Get it? Cuz you’re made of pumice?

YOU HAVE DISPLEASED ME MORTAL! RETURN UPON ONE HOUR AND I SHALL SMITE THEE WITH MY ANCIENT POWER!

*Waits for it to fall asleep again then smashes it to pieces with a hammer.*

This is why I can’t have friends. *Sigh*

*Sweeps the ancient evil up in a dustpan and dumps it into the trash.*

T-Rex Dinosaur Candlesticks

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T-Rex Dinosaur Candlesticks
T-Rex Dinosaur Candlesticks. This dinosaur lighting accessory will provide a Jurassic spark to any room. He he he. Jurassic spark. They are made with repurposed painted plastic toys, making them awesome. They look like major awards that you could win for being the coolest dinosaur ever. Which is why I have so many.

Every year a paint a dinosaur gold, walk down my own red carpet, present one to myself and give a teary eyed speech. This year was special. I sawed a donkey in half, spray painted the butt-end gold and gave my self “The ultimate half-ass award” cuz I never do anything all the way.

Hand Of Glory Candle Holder

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hand candelabra
This hand of glory candle holder should be very handy when the power goes out. As long as some wizard/mad scientist doesn’t re-animate the thing. I don’t mind a weird re-animated hand pinching my butt so much, it’s the setting fire to my pants that I have a problem with. *Runs around like a cartoon, trailing smoke and jumps in a tub of cold water.* Ahhhhh. That’s much better.

I actually used to have one of these, but then I high-fived it and set the drapes on fire. Now I’m not allowed to have fire-things.
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Skull Wall Sconces

Artemis Winterford2 Comments

skull light sconces
Check it out. What we have here is some mood lighting that is stuck on one mood, and one mood only, creepy. These Skull Wall Sconces will make your house look like an awesome fantasy castle. “From this day forth I shall make skull sconces of my enemy’s heads! This I swear!”

It’s a lot easier than what I did to get that whole Game of Thrones castle look. It took me like 3 weeks to dig that 10 foot wide mote around my house. And only about a minute for it to fill up with sh*t after I hit the sewer lines. Now it’s known around the neighborhood as Casa de la Caca. They also call me lord of the flies.