Tag: ebay

Metal Dog Sculpture With Hanging Metal Nads

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

metal dogWhat is it with Ebay sellers taking horrible pictures of their items? Everybody is using the glaucoma filter. I had to smoke up for medicinal purposes while looking at this listing. Didn’t help. But my eyesight drastically improved when I left the page.

Anyway, this is a metal dog some dude got for his 50th birthday. It has metal nads. Now he is selling it. Probably because there’s only so many times you can walk by and grab ’em for luck. He feels weird now. And rightly so. Now you can be that guy for just $280.
Read more “Metal Dog Sculpture With Hanging Metal Nads”

Creepy Demonic Light-Up Elf Or Awesome Iron Man Elf?

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

elf night lightLook at the eyes on this creepy little demonic elf night light. You will never sleep again once you are under his hypnotic and terrifying gaze. He is either a demon or an elf version of Iron Man, complete with a light-up arc reactor. You decide. $60 on Ebay.

Click through for a shot of it after dark.
Read more “Creepy Demonic Light-Up Elf Or Awesome Iron Man Elf?”

Slingin’ Hash And Takin’ Cash: Bucko The Pig Concession Stand

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

bucko the pigWhen you roll into town with a giant pig attached to your tractor, you know you are going to make some serious bank. Don’t forget to stock up on bacon and pork rinds. Greasy spoon? The entire inside of this pig will be greasy as you try to satisfy the hungry lard fueled mob that is America, one town at a time.

The best part is that employees enter through the butt-door. If I owned this, I would make it squeal each time someone entered, so I could go all Deliverance. “Squeal little piggy. Squeal!” Only $165,000.00 from Ebay.
Read more “Slingin’ Hash And Takin’ Cash: Bucko The Pig Concession Stand”

Score: Van Gogh’s Ear

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

van gogh earNow you can own Van Gogh’s ear. It looks all hairy and nasty. I hope it didn’t look like that when he cut it off and gave it to that chick that he loved. Damn Vincent. If that is your ear, your could have just sent her some pubes. At least that way you’d still hear her when she smacks you in the face and calls you a degenerate freak.

Not that I would know from experience or anything.

Vintage Football Looks Like Stewie Griffin From Family Guy

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

stewie griffin footballThe seller of this vintage football says that it looks like E.T. I think it looks like Stewie Griffin. Now the prophecy is at hand! Somewhere, a small child is planning to take over the world.

It is just $2.
Read more “Vintage Football Looks Like Stewie Griffin From Family Guy”