Are you enjoying your tea? Excellent. Now it is time to consult the oracle that I like to call the Ouija Board Tea-Towel. Place it flat on the table please. Now we shall use a cups as a planchette.
Oh Ouija towel, doorway to spirits, what say you to this realm? *cup begins to move just as the guest spills tea all over the table.* Damn it! *Cleans it up with the Ouija towel.* Now we’ll never know what it was gonna say.
This is a Disney Horror Characters Painting. It turns Disney Characters into horror icons. It’s not about the horror of the Disney parks? $10 for a grilled cheese sandwich at f**king Epcot? I can make that for like 10 cents. That’s the real horror of Disney. Any mouse tries to charge me $10 for a grilled cheese sandwich, I’m punching him in his nose. Which is probably why I was asked to leave by the two hulking Mickey-police!
Hey doll! Waz up? Don’t call me doll! For your information, I wasn’t talking to you, I was talking to the doll head on your chest. Nah. These Weird Doll Head Necklaces won’t make you look creepy at all. Too bad none have glowing red eyes and a head that turns 360 degrees, while saying, “momma” all creepy like. Maybe wear all of them and be the crazy doll head lady with a whole family around her neck. That would be some awesome baby bling! No. No it would not. That would be creepy. This has been a fashion PSA.
That’s a cool pair of Purple Slug Earrings. You know what you call a purple slug right? A purple nurple! *Everyone cover your nips as I go on a rampage* Now that I have that out of my very juvenile system… I actually got out the the juvenile system a few years back cuz they couldn’t try me as an adult. I’m a free man now. I was known as the Purple Nurple Burglar. I would break in at night and do the twist, if you know what I mean. Then run. The statute of limitations ran out and the color has returned to all of the boobies that I wronged.
It’s been like decades since I’ve seen the Basket Case movie, so I don’t remember what it’s all about, bit I will always remember this freak in a basket. This is a replica of that dude. Obviously, he really is a basket case. Get back in that basket, you’re scaring all of the normal people. Is that my Easter basket? You get out of there right now! Where’s all my candy? You didn’t even save me a peep?