Mummified Frog Necklace

Mummified Frog Necklace
Meet Morty, the Mummified Frog Necklace. I’m just guessing that’s his name. He looks like he’s doing a little yoga pose in there. Maybe Downward Frog or… Yeah I don’t know any other yoga poses. I’m about as flexible as a mafia payment plan. Anyway, you’re gonna look croaking in this necklace.

If I see you wearing it, I may even approach you and flirt with you. (Easy with that mace. I’m a good guy.) Maybe make a joke about how you and my tadpole should get together. You’d have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find another prince like me. And that’s nasty,so you might as well just settle. I’ll pick you up at 8.

Amityville, Friday the 13th, Nightmare Elm Street Horror Crossroads Sign

Amityville, Friday the 13th, Nightmare Elm Street Horror Crossroads Sign
Let’s see. Which way do I go? I knew I should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque. This Amityville, Friday the 13th, Nightmare Elm Street Horror Crossroads Sign will guide the way. Although I don’t think you are going to like any of your destinations. I’m just turning back. Seriously, you have fun with whatever you choose. I’m gonna go take a nap or something.

Werewolf Hunter Necklace

Werewolf Hunter Necklace
Are you the hunter or the hunted? Either way, this Werewolf Hunter Necklace is pretty damn sweet. I’m both. I hunt werewolves, so that no one will find out my secret identity is a werewolf. It’s the safest way to be a werewolf these days. Who would suspect? Why would you hunt your own kind? Of course the jig was up when they learned I could only hunt with them on non full moon nights. Which is like the only night they hunt on. So that didn’t last long.

I basically just looked up at the full moon, pointed at a hairy Italian guy and ran.

Medical Anatomy and Oddities Pillow Case

Medical Anatomy and Oddities Pillow Case
This Medical Anatomy and Oddities Pillow Case is just what I need for some late night reading before sleepy-time. No wonder I have nightmares. Read me a bedtime story…

There once was a medical quack
who lived in a old wooden shack
He took out his spleen
and washed it all clean
then kissed it and put it back.

Cuz he’s weird. The end.
Read more “Medical Anatomy and Oddities Pillow Case”

Cute Velvet Bat

Cute Velvet Bat
Damn, that bat is hardcore cute! Put this Cute Velvet Bat in your belfry, car window, pocket, whatever. Who doesn’t love bats? The insects that they eat. That’s who. Otherwise everybody loves a bat. What? You don’t love bats? What’s wrong with you? What, are you batty? This guy looks like a little bat Dracula. Bat-cula.