Tag: gift

Gothic Poison Ring

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Gothic Poison Ring

Man, remember the old days when you could just wear a special ring, fill it with poison and off someone? Yeah, I don’t either. Before my time. People were cray cray back then. Actually, they still are. Anywho, this cool Gothic Poison Ring has a pearl skull. Pretty neat. Now I know not to take tea from someone wearing this. Fool me once shame on me, fool me twice and I’m on the toilet for hours AGAIN after somebody loaded their ring with ex-lax and dumped it in my Earl Grey.

Still, this Gothic Poison Ring is all kinds of awesome. Hey it beats the Human Teeth Ring.

Mummified Demon Fetus

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Mummified Demon Fetus

You know how it is around here. Another day, another fetus. This one is a Mummified Demon Fetus. Truly a special breed. If you watch the seller’s video of them turning this thing around, I’m pretty sure I saw some testes as well as his little butt crack. He comes in a wooden keepsake box so you can proudly display your fetus. He’s a cute little pocket demon I guess.

A Mummified Demon Fetus. And I thought we hit the jackpot with the Unicorn Fetus. Shows what I know. So many fetuses so little womb. I mean time. So little time.

Bat Collar Necklace

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Bat Collar Necklace

Holy bat apparel Batman! This Bat Collar Necklace is stylishly batty. Creepy and cordial. Now that is fashionably Gothic. This is going to make some lucky gal look extra sexy. Bonus: It protects your neck from vampires at the same time. Is it a little batty? Sure, but in a great way. Not gonna lie, I’m a little turned on. Ladies, if you are rocking this Bat Collar Necklace, I’m drooling.

Between this and the Bloody Pearl Necklace Choker, how do you even decide? You gals have options. Never fear, I’ll keep finding amazing jewelry for you my dears. All I ask is that you wear it and let me take in your amazing beauty.

Day of the Dead Whiskey Decanter Set

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Day of the Dead Whiskey Decanter Set

You ever drink so much that you feel dead to the world? That’s the Day of the Dead my friend. Or at least how I celebrate it. This Day of the Dead Whiskey Decanter Set will help you get your drink on in style. The case is shaped like a coffin that your booze just climbed on into. May it rest in peace. And in my gut. It even has a lid so you can bury it in the back yard if you want. I would bury it and let my booze age. Then dig it up like 20 years later and have a party. A real Day of the Dead shindig. What’s a shindig anyway? A dig at a shin? Weird. Who cares? This Day of the Dead Whiskey Decanter Set is sweeet!

Anyway, I love Day of the Dead stuff. It’s funky and awesome.

Articulated Alien Chestburster

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Articulated Alien Chestburster

My chest hurts just looking at this thing. But it is kind of cute in that color. This Articulated Alien Chestburster comes in an assortment of colors in fact. You can keep him in your house, just don’t let him anywhere near your chest. It is about 24 inches of sheer terror wrapped in cute packaging. I might put this in the neighbors yard just because they piss me off. This Articulated Alien Chestburster is more like a heart burster when it surprises you in the middle of the night.

I got the Alien Chestburster Christmas Ornament, I might as well get this guy too.