Tag: chestburster

Articulated Alien Chestburster

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Articulated Alien Chestburster

My chest hurts just looking at this thing. But it is kind of cute in that color. This Articulated Alien Chestburster comes in an assortment of colors in fact. You can keep him in your house, just don’t let him anywhere near your chest. It is about 24 inches of sheer terror wrapped in cute packaging. I might put this in the neighbors yard just because they piss me off. This Articulated Alien Chestburster is more like a heart burster when it surprises you in the middle of the night.

I got the Alien Chestburster Christmas Ornament, I might as well get this guy too.

Alien Chestburster Christmas Ornament

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Alien Chestburster Christmas Ornament
What is an alien chestburster? If it bursts out of your chest you’ll know. A Chestburster is an infant Xenomorph. Also the worst indigestion ever. This Alien Chestburster Christmas Ornament is safe since it already exited someone’s stomach. Now it can decorate your tree for the holidays. Isn’t he cute?

Life Size Alien Chestburster Statue

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Life Size Alien Chestburster Statue
Check out this Life Size Alien Chestburster Statue.

Oh man, I don’t feel so good. Must have been something I ate. I think I’m just gonna lie down over- AHHHHHHH! Something’s ripping up my insides and for once it’s not a fart. OH GOD! OH GOD! *Alien bursts out of my chest* Are you as surprised to see me as I am to see you? Cool. Technically you’re my kid you know. I just gave birth to you. And I want to thank you for being considerate enough to not burst out of my rectum. *Kisses his slimy head, then it bites my face off*

Alien vs. Predator Chestburster Lamp

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Alien vs. Predator, Chestburster, Alien Specimen jar, Night light stand, Scary night light stand, Predator Art, Predator movie prop, Film
Check out this Alien vs. Predator Chestburster Lamp. Chestbursters, the new candy from the makers of Starburst. One random alien egg per pack. Which one will make your chest burst? Seriously though, this is a cool lamp.

Put it in your child’s room if you want to pay for years of therapy. Or in my room, if you want me to jump out of my own window and run down the street naked and screaming.