Tag: gothic

Gothic Skeleton Lamp

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Gothic Skeleton Lamp
If you thought this nuclear explosion lamp was cool, check out this Gothic Skeleton Lamp. You get all of the major bones and some light to see them by. Let’s see, there’s the pelvis, the ribcage, the spine, and I think that’s the brainstem that the bulb screws into. This is perfect for a demented doctor’s office and also for my home. It’s a good lamp to sit by and read a calming horror novel. It kinda shines some light on the whole death thing, ya know? It comes in black or white with several choices for the lampshade. And they all look pretty sweet.

Yeah this Gothic Skeleton Lamp will look perfect in my old Victorian house. I still have lamps that are fueled by gas. AKA gas light. So sometimes I like to call the gas company and ask them why they are gaslighting me and tell them to stop gaslighting me while I sound like a lunatic.

Gothic Studded Skull Purse – You Go Girl

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Gothic Studded Skull Purse - You Go Girl
As you know we love some good old-fashioned creep wear. This Gothic Studded Skull Purse is soooo goth-chic. It’s got studs, (not me, the other kind of stud) a skull, and loads of style. It has a main zip compartment with zipper closure, 2 slip pockets, as well as 1 internal zipper pocket and 1 back zip pocket. It will easily hold a 9.7″ iPad, tablet, or a 10″ and under laptop. It also has plenty of pockets for your notebook/smartphone/wallet and more. This Gothic Studded Skull Purse is roomy too. And I’ll say the same thing I said when I first saw Frankenstein’s face. Nice stitching bro. All I can say is you are gonna look great rocking this accessory. I mean you always look great. You know I think you are beautiful. This can only elevate your good looks and charm.

Skeleton Bathing Halloween Candle – Soak Them Bones

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Skeleton Bathing Halloween Candle - Soak Them Bones
Ahhhh. This skeleton has had a hard day and now he’s relaxing in a nice hot bath in a cauldron. A cauldron filled with hot wax! That’s just the way he likes it. This Skeleton Bathing Halloween Candle is fun and frightening, which is my favorite combination. I bet his name is John Wick. That’s a little candle joke. I could wax on all day about this cool and creepy candle. *Hey creepbay writer, I bet you wax off all day!* Stupid hecklers. They are even worse when they are in your head and you actually type out the heckle. Anyway, this skeleton is pretty well behaved with both hands out of the water. So you know he’s not waxing off. Wait a minute. Look where that flame is. Does this dude have a flaming peen? It almost looks like he’s using magic to ignite his prone bone. He’s singing, “Come on baby light my fire.” I know, I have a strange way of looking at the world. What can you do? It’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I’m riding that line baby and it won’t be long until I’m off the rails! I’m as crazy as this coffin skeleton candle.

Bat Wine Aerator – Spread Your Wings and Drink

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Bat Wine Aerator - Spread Your Wings and Drink
I don’t know about you, but I could use a drink. But sadly I don’t have a cool wine aerator in the shape of a bat that will pour the wine out of its mouth. But wait. Here it is my friends. The Bat Wine Aerator. Because it is always drink o’clock, especially on Halloween night when all those kids dressed up as ghouls and goblins come around begging for candy. Get a job! I yell and then BAM eggs all over my door. Why you little- Anyway, this little bat buddy will help you get your drink on. He looks pretty happy about it too.

This will look great in your home bar. Or even in your home bars if you are reading this from prison, in which case you can’t drink wine. *Points and says HAHA*. Please don’t come and get me when you are out on parole. Anyway, so now you have a cool bat wine aerator, but how do you open that bottle? I have the answer. The Bat Wine Opener.

Victorian Brooch With Skull

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Victorian Brooch With Skull
Well, what do we have here? A Victorian Brooch With Skull. But who’s that lady? My my my, you wear it well. You make me want to bone… (up on my fashion). Is she a sexy fortune teller looking for her own fortune? One that comes in the form of a man who writes a certain blog? A stylish gypsy delivering important news that will save the world? A mystic who wants mystick? I’m sorry, that was inappropriate. But I think I’m in love. I have to get a hold of myself. No, not in that way. Get your head out of the gutter. *Slaps myself* That’s better. Let’s talk about that Victorian Brooch. This one-of-a-kind brooch is a statement piece that will get you noticed for sure. The artist calls it morning jewelry and I’m all like, you can’t wear it afternoon? Oh… Mourning. My condolences my lady. I couldn’t help but notice your exceptionally dramatic brooch with the cool skull in it. Now if I might brooch the subject of your place or mine… Can I interest you in this Gothic Raven Brooch? Well, thank you all the same, but I’m perfectly capable of slapping myself thank you very much.