Relive the horrors of the plague with this Black Death Scented Candle. I’m not really sure what that smells like, but it’s gotta be an improvement to my bathroom after I take a massive, so I’m sold. Wait a minute. It says that the fragrance is Autumn Leaves. That doesn’t sound like black death to me. I’ll just stick with the plague that I know in my bathroom. Clearly I need a plague doctor.
Tag: halloween
Quench The Thirst Of Your Inner Witch – Cauldron Mugs
Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble, this elixir will remove beard stubble. *Drinks up* POOF! My beard is gone. It worked! I can’t wait to bottle this and make a billion- What the?!? Why do I have a pubic afro that looks like Jimi Hendrix circa 1969. Oh well, some lucky lady is attending Woodstock tonight. This is not I planned it. At all. It might be best to just drink regi=ular drinks from these cool Cauldron Mugs.
Update: My undercover brother keeps growing and can’t be trimmed. Had to switch to cargo pants and now a hoop skirt.
Witch Jewelry – Enchanted Mirror Pendant
Are you a witchy woman? Then you need some witchy jewelry. This Enchanted Mirror Pendant. Maybe you can do spells with it or something. Ask it who the loveliest of all is. Maybe you can gaze into it and see the future, tell people their fortunes. Or, you know, just wear it cuz it looks awesome. My question is, who enchanted it with what? I’m hoping it spits out chocolates from another dimension.
Colorful Skull Planters – Up Your Skull Game
Put these Colorful Skull Planters in your house or in your garden and up your skull game. You can never have too many skulls. We’re born with one and we accumulate all of the rest. That’s just how we roll. People who love skulls I mean.
Vampire Bat Pin In Albino Or Natural
Vampire bats are awesome. Except for when they swoop down and attack me and stuff. Get your own Vampire Bat Pin In Albino Or Natural varieties. Albino anything is always creepy AF. So naturally, I prefer that one. Albinos freak me out.
Al Bino was white as a sheet.
He scared everyone that he’d meet.
He’s pale and he’s frail and his suntans all fail.
Dude just can’t take the heat.