Let me see if I have this right. You want me to wear this Spider Summoner Tarantula Pendant? Which has a spider on it? Which will summon other spiders? Like Tarantulas? Are you out of your GD mind? How about a spider-killer summoner? I’d wear that. No way I’m inviting more spiders up in here. I don’t have enough cups to put over them like domes. I’m already tripping over all of the upside down glasses I have on the floor cuz I’ll trap them, but I ain’t taking them out. Slept walked the other night and kicked them all over and now I have an infestation all over again. I need to summon a spider taker-outer.
Tag: jewelry
Cat Skull Brooch
HISSSSSSSSSS MEOWWWWWWW I need this brooch now. This Cat Skull Brooch is all cat, all skull, all brooch. You can wear it on your sweater. You know, if you want to scare the skin off your cat so it looks just like this. Then you’ll have another one to wear. Good idea. A two for one deal. Here kitty kitty.
Anatomical Heart Earrings
These Anatomical Heart Earrings are a cool medical oddity. For your ears. Aorta buy it! Ha! You orta buy it too. That was a little medical joke. Do you heart them? I heart them. They are so sexy they might get you cardiac arrested though. These are a great Valentine’s day gift.
Nightmare On Elm Street Never Sleep Again Necklace
This Nightmare On Elm Street Never Sleep Again Necklace looks just like Freddy Krueger’s sweater and even has a little gravestone underneath. I don’t see what the big deal is. I had a nightmare on elm street once and yeah it was terrifying, but guess what? I moved. I didn’t make like 10 sequels about it. You make your own destiny. Like me. For a while I was starring in “Drunk on Church Street”. Then I moved on to “Recovering on Maple.” I move around a lot. Now I’m all about, “F*ck it. Face down on Main”. We are all our own master. Reach for the stars. And when ya can’t, reach for the bottle.
Coffin Nail Antique Iron Necklace
Well that’s the final nail in the coffin! This Coffin Nail Antique Iron Necklace is pretty cool ciz if you ever come across a coffin that has been dug up and left there, you can be all like, nope! I don’t think you. Then hammer your nail in so no dead bodies can get away. Runaway dead bodies are the worst. I think they really nailed it with this necklace. I really do.
And please, just buy this one. Don’t steal one from a coffin. Remember, keep dead bodies in their place.