Tag: poltergeist

NSFW The Paranormal Life and Times Of Jerry Wells

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

The Paranormal Life and Times Of Jerry Wells
NSFW Warning due to foul potty mouths.

I have no idea who Jerry Wells is. Maybe he’s the one who lives in the haunted house that looks like a double-wide trailer. Maybe he’s the neighbor that shows up to help them with their paranormal troubles. I have no clue. But this is his Youtube channel. Basically, a bunch of freaky stuff happens to this family of… (Be politically correct. Be politically correct…) crimson-necked Nascar attendees. They have some serious poltergeist activity that no doubt forces them to miss out on things like Walmart sales and buying Dale Earnhardt merch on QVC. Cuz this stuff is some dramatic activity. And it moves with them from place to place.

The first video starts off with papa bear enjoying a smoke and a mountain dew on his EZ chair, just chillin’ in front of his confederate flag drapery. Pretty soon, all hell breaks loose. And by hell, I mean bad acting. Here’s the first line of dialogue: “I’m so glad we went out and got this new camcorder…” Yeah. seems legit. It’s worth watching it all the way through. It’s like the Beverly Hillbillies lost all of their money and got ghost-rich up in this crib.

The ghost starts to mess with the piano at one point, but I’m guessing it was just a gerbil they stuck in there. Make your own follow up joke. At one point the dude reaches in the kitchen cabinet (Which is full of their best china…Red party cups) and grabs a plastic red party cup. Dude pours his coffee in, pops it in the microwave and wonders why the ghost messed with the microwave.  This stuff is para-not-normal gold.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlEFd6Maogg

Click through for another vid of a kid’s birthday party where a ghost destroys the kitchen. Here are some highlights:
Kids are happy, despite the genetic chutes and ladders game taking place in that room. Candles are getting lit. They start singing happy birthday. Candles get blown out. Then at the 1:00 mark shizz gets real!
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Poltergeist Clown Prop Replica

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Poltergeist Clown Prop Replica
Remember that movie Poltergeist? I don’t. I was too drunk, which is the adult equivalent of hiding under the blankets. Something scares me and I go for the bottle. Oh s**t, a spider! *glug, glug, glug.* That’s better. So, this is a prop of the clown prop replica from the Poltergeist movie. It’s pretty scary. *Drinks.* A Poltergeist is a violent ghost. You don’t want any of that. If you kill it, it evolves into a Zeitgeist. I think. Been awhile since I brushed up on supernatural stuff.

All I know is, I saw a completely different movie than you did since I brought my alcohol security blanket. Let’s see if I can remember. Oh, for the first hour I thought it was called Polter-Heist and I kept wondering when someone was gonna get robbed. Turns out, it was me, when I paid for the ticket.
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Pickles The Poltergeist Clown

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picklesThis clown is named Pickles. The first time I went to write up this article, I ended up crying in the corner, pulling my hair out. I don’t traumatize easy, but here’s the Dill, Pickles is creepy. Look at that image. He is clown-napping that kid. Turns out Pickles has a history of stalking, then clown-napping dolls of little children. The eBay seller Swankykitty explains:

Pickles the clown has been causing a bit of mayhem in the Doll House that Swanky built. All the babies have been complaining about his incessant doll-napper tendencies and the suggestion has been made more than once that maybe Pickles needs to move to a home of dolls more like himself.

I bought this doll initially because it made me laugh that he looked like Micheal Jackson if Micheal Jackson would have dressed as a clown.

Click through for more Pickle mayhem, where you can see him being super creepy, hiding under the beds of other dolls and waiting to snatch them up.
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