On the 4th day of Christmas my true love gave to me…4 Malformed Fetal Skeleton Specimens. (And she wonders why I divorced her.) Or as I like to call them, Teenage Mutant Ninja Fetuses. You see that dude in the glass ball/lens thing there? Yeah, these guys are summoning him to be their next sacrifice, after which they will have a movie deal, appear in some video games and then abuse drugs and fade into obscurity.
Tag: scary
Ugly Krampus Christmas Sweater Sweatshirt
Buck holiday traditions by wearing whatever the hell you want. Who wants a bright and colorful sweater when you can invite Krampus to the party and kick things up a notch? This Ugly Krampus Christmas Sweater features Krampus and his legendary tongue, some bells, pentagrams, trees, bones and more. It’s gonna be a Krampus Christmas up in this biatch! Better lock up your kids, cuz I have a sack that needs filling. God, that sounds so wrong. I’m just saying that the Kramp-man stuffs kids in sacks. Geesh.
You Ugly – 3D Framed Zombie Face
Damn! That’s a face that only a mother could love. And if you are a mother with a kid that looks like this? You both ugly and must have been beat by a hundred ugly sticks. Hang this 3D Framed Zombie Face up on the wall near your front door and any thieves that break in will run away screaming and searching for therapy. Ultimately it will make them a better person, but they will be scarred for life.
Cool Skull Pen Holder and Desk Organizer
Check out these good looking Skull Pen Holder and Desk Organizers. They’ll keep you company when you’re at your desk working, plus they help keep your desk tidy. Best of all they look pretty friggin cool. I know my desk needs more skulls on it. The only one decorating it right now is my own when I fall asleep trying to do my taxes. Taxes are a boring story that starts off all, “Once upon a time…” and ends like friggin Pearl Harbor with me crying about a surprise attack, even though it happens every year.
Krampus Christmas Gift Tags – From Krampus With Love
From Krampus, with love. These Krampus Christmas Gift Tags will liven up your presents and remind kids that they could be carted off at any time and put in a sack. That’s a good thing to never forget. You remember that little Timmy. Krampus is watching. Now open up your presents so daddy can get back to his hard liquor and figure out how he’s gonna pay for all of this.