Buck holiday traditions by wearing whatever the hell you want. Who wants a bright and colorful sweater when you can invite Krampus to the party and kick things up a notch? This Ugly Krampus Christmas Sweater features Krampus and his legendary tongue, some bells, pentagrams, trees, bones and more. It’s gonna be a Krampus Christmas up in this biatch! Better lock up your kids, cuz I have a sack that needs filling. God, that sounds so wrong. I’m just saying that the Kramp-man stuffs kids in sacks. Geesh.
Tag: xmas
Krampus Christmas Gift Tags – From Krampus With Love
From Krampus, with love. These Krampus Christmas Gift Tags will liven up your presents and remind kids that they could be carted off at any time and put in a sack. That’s a good thing to never forget. You remember that little Timmy. Krampus is watching. Now open up your presents so daddy can get back to his hard liquor and figure out how he’s gonna pay for all of this.
Taxidermy Squirrel Santa Claus Christmas Ornament
Nothing says Christmas like a dead squirrel head wearing a Santa hat. This Taxidermy Squirrel Santa Claus Christmas Ornament will make sure that you have a very merry rodent filled Christmas. He doesn’t even have a neck. Dude is just all head and all hat. Like a floating ghost in search of nuts that he will never find. Well, unless you hang him on your tree at crotch level and lean in too close. Then it’s all screaming and blood dripping on the presents below.
Wreck The Halls – Moose Poop Christmas Ornaments
These Moose Poop Christmas Ornaments are not just moose turds that you fling at your tree. They are highly polished pieces of poop attached to various brass and other backgrounds. I was always told that you can’t polish a turd, but I guess Etsy seller sharkman123 has found a way. I especially like the one that is a butterfly carrying a big shiny steamer as if it’s going from one butt to another, pollinating poop. You don’t see that everyday. More like Butt-erfly. Am I right? Except this kind evolves from a scat-erpiller. And that’s the straight poop!
Merry s**ts-mas everyone.
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Cool Reindeer Skeleton Cameo Necklace
Awww look at the cute reindeer skeleton just frolicking in the snow. This Reindeer Skeleton Cameo Necklace has nice bones. As you may already know, Zombie Santa uses a bunch of skeleton reindeer to fly to the houses of bad kids who don’t eat their vegetables and get caught playing with their pee-pees. In other words, dude was at my house every year terrorizing me. I never even met the real Santa. Just the creepy anti-Santa. Oh and one year Krampus came to the house and dragged me off in a sack so he could beat me with a stick. Oh yeah, Christmas is just great. Good times! That’s why ever since I turned 12, I just hide in the attic till it’s all over.
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