Tag: strange

Miami Politician Says Aliens Gave Her A Spaceship Ride

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Miami Politician Says Aliens Gave Her A Spaceship RideA congressional candidate from Miami, Bettina Rodriguez Aguilera, says she’s been aboard a spaceship crewed by aliens.

Three blond, big-bodied beings (Probably big-bootied too.) — two females, one male — visited her when she was 7 years old and have been communicating telepathically with her several times since. She is running for Congress currently. Probably because the aliens told her too. They like filling our government with their own people so they can further the alien agenda. Here are some of the things the aliens told her:

▪ There are 30,000 skulls — “different from humans” — in a cave in the Mediterranean island of Malta.
Good to know.
▪ The world’s “energy center” is in Africa.
Cool. We should totally tap that. I’d tap that real good.
▪ The Coral Castle, a limestone tourist attraction South Miami-Dade, is actually an ancient Egyptian pyramid.
Except it can’t be, because it’s in South Miami.
▪ “God is a universal energy.”
Cool. And religion is a universal remote.

via Miami Herald

Awesome and Creepy Mens Skull Necktie

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Awesome Mens Skull Necktie
I’m wearing this Mens Skull Necktie to the office so I can be the coolest dressed dude. Look at how classy this thing is! I’m gonna be a Gothic Gangster wearing this thing. I’d wear it to skull too. I mean school. This makes a great gift for the guy in your life who needs to make an impression and look like a badass.

This Alien Crop Circle Necklace Is No Hoax

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Alien Crop Circle Necklace
*Walking along a field. Spots a cop circle. Checks it against my Alien Crop Circle Necklace.* Oh yeah. That’s alien alright. I think it means, “We came from Uranus”. Wait, that’s a mistranslation. It means, “We come for your anus!” Big difference there. Also, “To Serve Man” is a cookbook. This necklace is stunning and stylish, with an important message for mankind, which I have just deciphered for you. You’re welcome.

Nice Wings – Cute Bat Girl Cameo Necklace

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Bat Girl Cameo Necklace
This Bat Girl Cameo Necklace is for the bat girl in your life. Unless your bat girl flew away. Sometimes they do that. Mine flew away once and then I caught her hanging from the roof of a cave with another man, just dropping bat-poop everywhere. It made me sad. But sometimes ya just gotta pick yourself back up and find yourself another cute girl with wings. So you can clip them this time and make sure she isn’t all up in some other dude’s belfry! JK, I didn’t cut her wings. I just glued them together. JK

Guy Blames Aliens For Crime Spree

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Guy Blames Aliens For Crime Spree
So this Wisconsin guy faces a bunch of charges after repeatedly vandalizing a home, cuz Aliens made him do it.

Over the last three weeks, Anouphong Inphachack allegedly defaced a residence in the city of Sheboygan on several occasions, doing things like smashing windows and spray painting on the side of the home. Inphachack says that these actions were orchestrated by aliens and that he is the victim of an ET virus. He says that the ‘DNA’ message on the side of the house was his way of calling attention to the fact that aliens have altered his genetic material to make him shorter.

“They are switching dimensions all the time. Setting people up for a bad time,” he told investigators, “I’m telling you the truth. The alien virus will evolve mankind.”

Hell, if I acted out every time aliens experimented on me, I’d never get out of jail. Dude needs to learn to live with a sore anus and being shorter. I suggest hemorrhoid cream and platform shoes.

via Sheboygan Press