Where Unicorns are sweet and magical and rainbow bright, and all about chasing virgins and pooping skittles, the Unicorn Rat is all about hanging on your wall and looking like an evil overlord.
His eyes will follow you wherever you go and he will shoot magical dark rays from his horn which make you do his bidding. (Things like making you dance in your underwear on a carpet of spring-loaded rat traps, while rubbing hot sauce all over your body. Yeah, he’s sick like that!) He is surrounded by glass bubbles of evil as if he is just now breaking into our plain of existence. Beware the Unicorn Rat. And whatever you do, DO NOT feed it.
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Read more “Dead Unicorn Rat Surrounded By Bubbles”
Okay. Here’s the plan. Sparklehooves, you enter the convenience store first. Take your time getting a Mountain Dew and then browse the magazine rack. MagicMane, you enter after. Pick up a slim jim and a bag of skittles, then read the nutritional info on the back of a bag of Doritoes. I’ll enter last, casually walking up to MagicMane and downing some skittles. It helps calm my nerves. At that point, it’s ski masks on gentlemen. Whinny like you mean it, then get the weapons out. Watch where you’re pointing that horn!
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