This display of a Unicorn Fetus is great for those of us who are sick of seeing bright, sparkly and magical creatures prancing around the forest and nuzzling up to virgins. Well, they don’t look so sparkly when they’re fresh from their mother’s uni-gina, that’s for sure. It measures 13-14cm long and comes in a 23cm x 23cm wooden display case. Is that the afterbirth? Damn. It is. That’s included too. Now that’s a sweet collectible. I might wanna make a saddle out of that and attach it to Cleetus the fetus here so my action figures can ride it. In fact, I’m getting 4 of these things so I can play “Four fetusmen of the apocalypse”. You know things are bad when four Unicorn fetuses show up with riders.
Tag: unicorn
Dark Unicorn Skeleton Necklace
I always wanted to ride into battle atop my own unicorn. I picture it impaling people with its horn, but really it would probably just run around the battlefield leaving a rainbow light trail and farting skittles. Still, it would be cool. For now I’ll settle for wearing this kick-ass Unicorn Skeleton Necklace. I like cuz it looks like a unicorn got hit by lightning and became a dark unicorn. An anti-unicorn that hunts others in its species so it can steal their light and colors. Ohhhhh. Spooky.
Squatty Potty – Dookie The Pooping Unicorn Plush
Do you own a Squatty Potty? I do. Dookie The Pooping Unicorn has changed the way I poop. Saved my life. Cleansed my colon. Got my Cleveland Steamer running better than ever. He better my bowels. My rhoids are less annoyed. While my pooping is still not leveled up enough to poop rainbows, my Hershey’s kiss production line might just turn a profit for the first time in years if I can just find some of that colored foil and some ribbon shards to package it in. What I’m saying is a heartfelt thank you.
Thank you Dookie for making America great again. For my butt.
If you feel the same way, you’re gonna want this Dookie The Pooping Unicorn Plush. He will keep you going. Help you keep the faith that your pooping will get better. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry. *tears* I used to poop little pebble pellets, but ever since I got Squatty Potty, I poop giant grizzly bear mounds and am a mighty beast in my own bathroom again. My spirit animal is is now a Jedi ghost formed from noxious sh*t stink and I am slowly learning the ways of the force. Thank you!
I Heart This – Plush Unicorn and Goblin Hearts
Check out these Plush Unicorn and Goblin Hearts from Floozey. I just pulled them from their chest cavities myself. They’re supposed to be good luck right? Give the gift of the heart of a mythical creature to someone you love. Just so we’re clear, I heart this!
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Mythical Creatures Tiki Mugs For Monster Drinks
These Mythical Creatures Tiki Mugs will make your next get-together festive and fill your kitchen cabinets with mystery and myth. You might say that you’ll have your own kitchen cabinet of curiosities. You get a Dragon, Kraken, Mermaid, and a Unicorn. The Kraken is the best. Better get kraken on that drink. Clink ’em together in a toast, then clink them together to make them fight. Then cry cuz you broke your favorite creature. This is why I can’t have nice things.
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