You are gonna be the ultimate creeper and freaker at the rave thanks to these Scary Light Up Masks. Are they still doing raves? I have no idea. Maybe people just aren’t raving about them so I’m not hearing about them. These masks are pretty scary. I wouldn’t want to see one in a dark alley. Then again, there’s a lot of stuff I never want to see in a dark alley. Like a dude wielding a knife, a gun or the unexpected exposed weiner. All of those scenarios get worse when the perp is wearing a mask like this. Send shivers down my spine.
Tag: rave
Skeleton LED Gloves
These Skeleton LED Gloves make your hands look like neon bones. I AM THE FUTURISTIC ROBOT SKELETON. Let’s get this rave started! Are raves still a thing? Do they rave about them? Does anyone have a spare pacifier I can borrow? One that hasn’t been in any orifices this time would be much appreciated. Yeah, very funny. Now turn down the lights and watch my hands do their thing!
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Pink Mounted Werewolf Head
What can I tell ya. It was the 90s. There was a rave. A Werewolf attacked. So I took the pacifier out of my mouth, shoved my lightstick down it’s throat along with some X and this guy got less bloodthirsty. He’s all like, I wuv you man. I weally weally wuv you. I ever tell you that?” We partied all night then I took his head and decorated my house with this Pink Mounted Werewolf Head.
He’ll never raid a rave on a full moon again!
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Flashing Sound Activated Equalizer Music Helmet: DJ Creepface
Nothing is going to scare the hell out of a bunch of kids tripping balls faster than DJ Creepface wearing this Flashing Sound Activated Equalizer Music Helmet. This noise activated helmet flashes in time with the beat of the music. Do they even have raves anymore? Do you even rave bro?
Well, I raved about that new flavor of Doritos. Then there was that bacon wrapped Little Ceasers pizza. So yeah, I rave! Granted it’s all just trippy music and a light show as I dance around my living room and eat pizza while rubbing my belly, but that totally counts.
Mermaid Holographic Bodysuit
Do androids dream of electric sheep? Do holographic mermaids dream of electric eels? I have no idea, but I like how you’re rockin’ that $155 holographic mermaid bodysuit my fishy feminine friend. Of course, that may be due to the fact that YOU ARE HYPNOTIZING THE S**T OUT OF ME with those glasses.
Damn girlfriend, I would have come willingly and given you some sweet love. No need for mermaid trickery. I know all the right things to do and say my sweet ocean siren. Want a sample? Here goes: “Hey baby, them scales is heavy.” Which of course means something entirely different to a human woman. You can say that to a mermaid, NOT to a woman who just stepped off a scale. Lesson learned.
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