Do you want one sugar or two in your tea? Oh forget it, this is a Ouija Board Cup and Saucer Candle. There’s nothing but wax inside. Oh well. As my former karate instructor Mr. Miyagi used to say, “wax on, wax off”. Admittedly, I only ever mastered the second part, which is why only one of my arms is ripped. Anywho, this Ouija Board combo will light up your room nicely AND let you commute with the dead. I mean commune. As in talk to them. Not travel to work them every morning. Although have you seen some of these people? Damn, talk about working stiffs. They are the walking dead.
Author: Artemis Winterford
Ghost Terrorizes Garment Factory in Cambodia
Da fuq is going on in the world? There’s way too many ghosts and other weird stuff. Imma start my own religion and lead a cult so I can have all the babes in the apocalypse cuz this world is just getting wayyyy to weird. I want off this rock. Almost three dozen workers at a garment factory in Cambodia needed medical treatment after they all freaked out over a ghost. It started when rumors that one of the workers was possessed by a ghost began to spread on the floor of the factory. Bunch of gossiping old hens.
One official with the garment factory workers union said that the possessed person was “yelling for chicken to eat,” apparently talking about some form of sacrifice. Or maybe he just wanted KFC. Did he yell, “Yo, I need some KFC up in this bizz-och.” Or “Yo, all ya’ll best stop making garments and feed my hungry ghost ass!” I have no idea.
Well it doesn’t take much to shake up a Cambodian garment factory employee as “they started to faint one by one” upon hearing the scary story. Just like those damn fainting goats. About 35 employees ended up on the floor during the fainting spree. Just like damn internet goats.
Apparently this factory has been hit by this kind of thing more than ten times. The union official said that one time “magic sorcerers” were brought in to help the workers. Dumbledore and Merlin could not be reached for comment.
via CtC
Freddy Krueger and Jason BFF Friendship Necklace
I’m a Freddy, but my BFF is more of a Jason. So this Freddy Krueger and Jason BFF Friendship Necklace is perfect for us. We’re always fighting. I’m invading his dreams, he’s slashing at me. We often end up dead piled on top of each other. One time I woke up with an Oscar Mayer hot dog sticking out of my wound instead of a knife. That trickster. What a scamp! That’s friendship for you.
Werewolf 3D LED Lamp Has Big Teeth
You don’t have to wait for a full moon to see a werewolf anymore. You can have one that looks like a hologram thanks to this sweet Werewolf 3D LED Lamp. Perfect for the home or office that is lacking in scary werewolf jaws and teeth. Sadly, that is most homes and offices in the world. You can change the color or even have it cycle through different colors. This thing looks vicious.
Chinese Loch Ness Monster Spotted
This is a cell phone video from China that supposedly shows a mysterious creature briefly emerging from a lake while a bunch of onlookers panic and make noise. The footage was filmed at a lake in China’s Louping County, and shows a dark object causing ripples on the surface of the water. Then another part of the creature suddenly pops up out of the lake and witnesses can be heard gasping and shouting some more.
Let’s see, we have bubbling and ripples on the water. My research suggests that this is yet another case of the “Nessie farting” phenomenon. No wonder the witnesses are freaking out. Nessie farts reak. Nessie rips some farts and the bubbles rise, rippling the water when they hit the surface. Sometimes you lose control and poop hits the surface. Don’t believe me? Get in the bathtub and let one rip. I just tested my theory a minute ago. In fact I’m still in the tub. Just did it again. Hang on, gotta plug my laptop in again. Rips a huge one. Hey, look at me, I’m Nessie.
*Creates a wave that hits my laptop and electrocutes me for like ten minutes. We’ll talk later when I get out of my coma.*
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