Ohhh fancy schmancy! Check out these Coffin Gatefold Laser Cut Wedding Invitations. So creep-chic. Reminds me of my first marriage. Till death do us part? Uh. I think I may have made a mistake. Do you want to take up skydiving my dear? She didn’t. so here we are. Man, these invitations are slick. I would use these for every creepy occasion.
Author: Artemis Winterford
Nightmare on Elm Street – Freddy Krueger Mego Action Figure
One, two, Freddy’s coming for you. Three, four. Freddy’s mom’s a wh**e. Yeah, I said it. What’s he gonna do, invade my dreams? Uh…. Oh sh*t! Well, I guess I’m staying up all night. This Freddy Krueger Mego Action Figure is straight from Englund. Robert Englund that is. The pizza-face likeness is amazing. It will give your toy sheld nightmares.
Roll Them Bones – Skull Dice
These Skull dice are dice with skulls in them. Snake eyes? More like pair o skulls. Cuz I like to my dice to look like a family of skulls live inside of them, so that every time they stop rolling, all these skulls look out the window like, “What the f**k was that? An earthquake?” Nah. Just this A-hole yelling Yahtzee again.
Ancient Aliens On A Rock
This is a faux aboriginal rock where they painted Ancient Aliens On A Rock. Pretty cool. Either that or it’s an ancient race of long-nosed people who could smell what was cooking from 5 miles away. No wonder they died out. The B.O. back then was nasty. These are the last surviving members all sitting around and smelling each other before they pass out one by one. Same thing happened to the dinosaurs.
Snailien Alien Xenomorph Sculpture
In the garden, no one can hear you scream. Just ask this Snailien Alien Xenomorph Sculpture. I wouldn’t want to come across this guy while planting some flowers. I wouldn’t even want to come across this little beast anywhere. I bet a shovel can’t even kill it. He’ll eat your face off and kill your whole gardening crew. What, you don’t have a gardening crew? You ain’t shi* bra! Me and my crew grow vegetables like you wouldn’t believe. We spraying Miracle Grow like spraying bullets with a glock. Come at us man! What u got? Sorry. I’m all tense cuz the gardening turf wars are heating up. Anyway, this Alien Xenomorph Sculpture is slimy and terrifying.
I need to lie down after seeing this bit of nightmare fuel. I feel faint. Good thing I have my Alien Xenomorphs Egg Cushion Pillow. What’s the worst that could happen. That I lay my head on it and something sucks my face off? Hmmm. I didn’t think of that. I guess that nowhere is safe from the alien menace. This ndude has some serious attitude. Just look at him. He knows he is the deadliest thing in the garden and he’s smiling.