I need these Batwing Fan Blades in my belfry. Too bad I don’t have some bats that can hang from these when the fan is off. Cuz then I could turn it on and surprise them. Nah. I would never hurt a bat. You know why you need these fan blades in the summer? Cuz Dra-cool-ya. Get it? Dracula? Bat wings? Cool ya? Wow, tough room. Also, lame joke.
Author: Artemis Winterford
Horror Hangers – Monsters For Your Wall
UMETOYS makes these cool Horror Hangers that put monsters on your wall. It’s like a bunch of nightmares poking their heads through your wall to see what you’re up to. You can choose from Gill-Man, a bearded zombie, Frankenstein, and a ghost that looks like an old crazy woman. These monsters are gonna look amazing on your wall.
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My God It’s Full Of Skulls Belt Buckle
This Skulls Belt Buckle is pretty appropriate for me to have over my junk cuz it’s like a graveyard down there if ya know what I mean. I get less action than there is on bingo night at an old folks home. It’s all good though… No, it’s not. Dear God, I’m so lonely. I just need some love. Why doesn’t anyone love me? Oh yeah, it’s probably cuz I post weird stuff on the internet every day and chicks just don’t understand. Maybe this belt buckle can turn my game around. Getting rid of the suspenders and bow tie would be a good next step too.
Santa Muerte Book Of The Dead Tarot Card Deck
Santa Muerte? Is that like Santa Claus? Do I get presents? Do I have to wear a tacky sweater? Nah. This Santa Muerte Book Of The Dead Tarot Card Deck is a powerful tool for working with the mysticism associated with the Day of the Dead and Santa Muerte. Deal me in and give me a reading. *Throws poker chips on the table* I call. What do you mean I can’t call? Fine, I’ll bluff instead. No? Fine, I fold.
Double Caffeine Zombie Joe Z Bold Coffee
Damn son! Why is that zombie running after me instead of slowly shambling and letting me get away? That’s because the zombies got their hands on a batch of Double Caffeine Zombie Joe Z Bold Coffee. And so can you! If it gets zombies going all day long, it will get you going in the morning too. Zombie Joe! It makes life interesting! *Runs away from zombies at full speed.*