Gargoyles are supposed to protect you right? So why not put some Gargoyle Door Knobs on your door? They will scare away most nuisances like: Religious people with flyers, salespeople with flyers and even people that don’t have flyers. These doorknobs are scary, but also cute. I’m gonna put them on every door in the house. Plus all of my cabinets and even my refrigerator. I’m going full Gargoyle!
Author: Artemis Winterford
Sexy 3D Printed Cryptid Skull Pendants
Who’s down for collecting some cryptid skulls and wearing them as jewelry? *Raises my own hand!* MythicArticulations has you covered. You can get the Loch Ness Monster, Jackalope, Cerberus, the Jersey Devil, Sasquatch and more. I’m gonna wear them all at once, so I can pretend I’m a cryptid hunter, even though I hide behind the couch at the mention of their names. That’s where I’m typing from right now. Ohhhh. I just found a dust bunny eating an M and M. I just ate both. I’m top of the food chain in my house!
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Eternal Rest Cameo Necklace
This Eternal Rest Cameo Necklace is eternally in fashion. It features a double layered cameo, with a laser cut ornate backing and antique silver frame. It has a cemetery and raven design, with a silver bat and headstone. Rest in peace jewelry is dead sexy. Get it? Dead sexy? I know, I have the joking skills of a four-year-old. Also the bladder control. Excuse me while I go change my diaper.
Cool Edgar Allan Poe Necklace
Check out this Cool Edgar Allan Poe Necklace. It says “All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream”. Damn… That’s deep. Like, Edgar Allan Whoa dude. All on a one-eyed bat. Now that’s a damn cool necklace. Here’s a joke:
What do you call Edgar Allan Poe’s landlord? A Poe-Lease man. Oh, the horror… of my jokes.
Before and After – Bat and Bat Skeleton Paperweight
I used to be a fat bat, but now I’m slim and loving life. It’s all thanks to my new no eating all-guano diet. Check out my before and after. Oh so sexy. Who needs wings anyway. Got myself a nice thigh gap now.
This Bat and Bat Skeleton Paperweight is gonna look great on your desk. It’s a good reminder to keep going with that diet. But you know, not forever. Just sayin’.