This Shark Bite Choker looks pretty badass, but all I can think about is some woman kissing a guy while the shark bites a hole in his neck. Now that’s an authentic choker. It not only chokes, but it also takes a mini shark-sized hole out of you. No thanks. If you wanna kiss me, you best remove jaws there.
Category: Creep Wear
Witch Jewelry – Enchanted Mirror Pendant
Are you a witchy woman? Then you need some witchy jewelry. This Enchanted Mirror Pendant. Maybe you can do spells with it or something. Ask it who the loveliest of all is. Maybe you can gaze into it and see the future, tell people their fortunes. Or, you know, just wear it cuz it looks awesome. My question is, who enchanted it with what? I’m hoping it spits out chocolates from another dimension.
Bigfoot Polo Shirts Are Classy As Squatch
Why wear an alligator on your breast, or a polo player, when you can wear nature’s most perfect creature? These Bigfoot Polo Shirts keep things classy while also saying, “Yeah I believe in Bigfoot. So what?” Just look at that embroidered silhouette. This shirt is classy as f@@k! Cryptids in da house. But ladies don’t have cryptids on their blouse! Not my fault. This is just in a men’s style.
Vampire Bat Pin In Albino Or Natural
Vampire bats are awesome. Except for when they swoop down and attack me and stuff. Get your own Vampire Bat Pin In Albino Or Natural varieties. Albino anything is always creepy AF. So naturally, I prefer that one. Albinos freak me out.
Al Bino was white as a sheet.
He scared everyone that he’d meet.
He’s pale and he’s frail and his suntans all fail.
Dude just can’t take the heat.
Krampus Tiki Tribal BOLO Neck Tie – Nice Tongue
Is it too early for Krampus? Yeah, it might be the wrong time of the year, but I don’t care. I’d wear this Krampus Tiki Tribal BOLO Neck Tie anytime. That’s a terrifying tiki face right there. Nice tongue dude. I’m gonna wear this next Christmas. That reminds me, the doctor always makes my tongue sad though. You know why? He uses a tongue depressor. Hahhahahahaha.