That is one good looking bag. But enough about your grandmother! Also that’s a very cool Gothic Bag you have there. I love all the skulls, ravens and dark imagery. That is what we in the industry call, “sweet as f**k!” It will hold all of your things in style. Dare I say, it even looks sexy? Can I watch you carry it as you walk away slowly? Is that weird? I see you have your phone clutched in that “911 at the ready” way that I know so well from women. Ok, I’m out. Later gator. After a while crocodile. Another time porcupine!
Category: Creep Wear
Zombie Skeleton Dance Costume
I can see this Zombie Skeleton Dance Costume doing a number on the pole at some redneck bar after the town has been infected with a virus. And I have to say she has all the right moves. Nice veins. Really gets that heart pumping. Her heart, not mine. I don’t have a thing for zombie strippers. Then why’d you throw all those ones at her and request a lap dance? A. That was Monopoly money and B. They keep it really cold in here cuz the customers and the staff are all dead. Just trying to warm my lap with a cold zombie. Makes perfect sense.
Cool Raven Leather Hair Barrette – Nevermore
Take a Raven for a ride. That’s the name of the campaign I’m starting for this Raven Leather Hair Barrette. You too can look like a bird just dive-bombed your hair and got stuck there. No, I’m just messing with you. It actually looks pretty cool. Sexy and Goth like. It comes in black or dark brown. Whichever you choose, you are gonna like great girl! You rockin’ a raven now! And people be raven about it!
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Liquorbrand Ouija Board Gothic Symbols Purse
Illuminati in da house! Shhhhhhh! We don’t talk about them. Ever. Anyway, this Liquorbrand Ouija Board Gothic Symbols Purse has all kinds of Ouija Board symbols and even an Illuminati eye in the center. Did I not just tell you to shut your mouth? Just talkin’ bout Shaft. I mean Illuminati! That’s it! We told you that the first rule of Illuminati is that you don’t talk about Illuminati. And you just keep blabbing on and on. Yeah, well you just talked about ’em. I’m just trying to make a point. You keep- Looks like we’re both out of the club. You son of a-
Gothic Ravenskull Headdress
This Gothic Ravenskull Headdress puts bird skulls on your own skull. Obviously this is what people are raven about this season, while others crow. Speaking of, I always confuse ravens and crows. I once asked my dad, “Why are ravens and crows different?” and he said, “Just caws”. Very helpful as usual dad. Ravenskull sounds like one of them Harry Potter houses that the sorting hat picks out for you. Like, if you really wanted hufflepuff, but got ravenskull instead. What the hell is hufflepuff anyway. Sounds like the name of a paint huffing clown under some highway bridge. Whatevs.