Ileum and The Ostomy Plush

Ileum and The Ostomy PlushDamn son! This Ileum and The Ostomy Plush is… Well, I had to look up what an ileum was and it’s the third portion of the small intestine aka your poop chute. This plush is like Homer’s Iliad, an epic hero’s journey…

This epic saga recounts the journey of our hero, Feceus. We begin near the end of our hero’s passage, in Ileum (the small intestines).

When Feceus tries in vain to reach the outside world via the rectum, he finds his way is blocked. He valiantly fights his way into the colon but can get no further.

The clever Feceus takes his mighty scalpel and severs the colon in twain! He then takes the end and pushes it through the abdominal wall to create a new exit into the world!

This new exit became known as the Stoma in this tale,
The Ostomy!

So yeah, that happened. Nice bedtime story.

Plush Potato – Fleece Food

Plush Potato - Fleece Food
What the spud? So this exists. A Plush Potato. A bunch of plush potatoes. AKA your average American. Hey, I can say that cuz I’m American and all doughy and potato-like. So now you can cuddle with a plush spud. These guys look like fleshy ghosts who would multiply and haunt you forever.

Posable Crocodile Doll

Posable Crocodile Doll
This Posable Crocodile Doll is creepy and awesome. I’m thinking about getting it so I have a buddy that I can do the Crocodile Rock with and we can shed crocodile tears together as we bitch about what a crock it all is. Is it a baby? An adult? I have no idea, but it looks hungry. He needs some Crocks for his feet. That seems appropriate. Anyway, later alligators, after while crocodiles. I can’t look at it anymore.

Horror Nesting Doll Sets

Horror Nesting Doll SetsExperience the horror of nesting dolls! Etsy seller VeleCruce has a few horror nesting doll sets based on horror movies. Pretty frightening to put them inside of one another as if they are eating each other. There’s Jason, Freddy, Michael Myers and more. I wouldn’t normally consider these dudes the nesting type. They’re more like empty nesters. Meaning they like to kill everyone in the nest until it is empty.
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Horror Villains Security Blanket Dolls

Horror Villains Security Blanket Dolls
Hey, why not? Give your baby these Horror Villains Security Blanket Dolls. That way they can feel nice and secure… Around killers! You should never feel safe and secure around killers. Although they do look soft and cuddly… NO! I will not be drawn in to your- I do feel safer with my blankie. I can’t deny that. Sure, I’ll give these a try. But I might get some weird looks while I’m out in public clutching all of these guys to my chest. Have a look at the shop and see the rest of them.
Horror Villains Security Blanket Dolls

Horror Villains Security Blanket Dolls