Giant Stuffed Fetus Chair

Giant Stuffed Fetus Chair
What. In. The. F*ck! So I saw this today. Can’t unsee it either. I tried washing my eyes out with bleach too. Then I couldn’t stop thinking about it, so I poured bleach in my ears, hoping to burn it from my mind. Still seeing it in my head, but now I also feel woozy. So it’s a fetus. Also a chair. Giant Stuffed Fetus Chair. A fetus of what though? I have no clue. Sit on it, sleep with it, hang out with it all day long if you want. You will have the biggest fetus around.

Fetus! It’s the new futon. He’s very scared of the vacuum for some reason.
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Mounted Chupacabra Head

Mounted Chupacabra HeadYep. That’s the guy who sucked the blood from my goat. Sorry officer, when I say it that way it sounds disgusting. Anywho, this Mounted Chupacabra Head is made from pulp and wood. Unlike the real thing, which is made in a government lab by scientists. The jaw is articulated, so you know, it can still suck. And it does. He looks like he’s making the orgasm face, so I’m guessing they shot him while doing the nasty.

Plush Potato – Fleece Food

Plush Potato - Fleece Food
What the spud? So this exists. A Plush Potato. A bunch of plush potatoes. AKA your average American. Hey, I can say that cuz I’m American and all doughy and potato-like. So now you can cuddle with a plush spud. These guys look like fleshy ghosts who would multiply and haunt you forever.

Toys For Little Creepers – Plush Skeleton Dolls

Toys For Little Creepers - Plush Skeleton Dolls
I can’t decide if these Plush Skeleton Dolls are cute or creepy, but that one guy in the back with no face… Nightmare fuel! Look at them. Just one big happy family with momma skeleton holding them all on a rocker. They’re tight too. Nobody makes fun of no-face or calls him names like Void or Spaceface, but you can tell that even they are creeped out by him. Did you know that plush skeletons grow up to become all rigid and bony, losing all of their plushy flesh by 12 years old? True story.

Do you think that pumpkin stole that kids face? Damn. Now I’m more weirded out by the pumpkin. Probably took his soul too. Yeah, that pumpkin is the real power behind the throne. There’s some messed up stuff going on here.

Gray Alien Stuffed Plush ExtraTerrestrial

Gray Alien Stuffed Plush ExtraTerrestrial
WTF?! Hey you guys aren’t supposed to come until the dead of night. I thought we had a deal. Who’s your green friend? The alien Hulk? No, let me guess, he just gets UFO sick and spends the whole trip puking and turning green. What? Your supervisor? What’s he doing here? Checking out your prostate probing productivity? A trip P evaluation then. Hey Greenie, you ain’t the boss of me. Him yeah. Not me. HAhahahaha. That picture makes it look like someone yanked your UFO hat off your head.

OW! You really forced me down there. Oh, we’re starting already? Just lasered my pants right off huh. Well, I hope your supe gives you a good evaluation.

This Gray Alien Stuffed Plush ExtraTerrestrial also comes in green. One is the boss, the other the lackey. Two and a half feet tall. Life-sized!