I used to be a fat bat, but now I’m slim and loving life. It’s all thanks to my new no eating all-guano diet. Check out my before and after. Oh so sexy. Who needs wings anyway. Got myself a nice thigh gap now.
This Bat and Bat Skeleton Paperweight is gonna look great on your desk. It’s a good reminder to keep going with that diet. But you know, not forever. Just sayin’.
I need these Batwing Fan Blades in my belfry. Too bad I don’t have some bats that can hang from these when the fan is off. Cuz then I could turn it on and surprise them. Nah. I would never hurt a bat. You know why you need these fan blades in the summer? Cuz Dra-cool-ya. Get it? Dracula? Bat wings? Cool ya? Wow, tough room. Also, lame joke.
UMETOYS makes these cool Horror Hangers that put monsters on your wall. It’s like a bunch of nightmares poking their heads through your wall to see what you’re up to. You can choose from Gill-Man, a bearded zombie, Frankenstein, and a ghost that looks like an old crazy woman. These monsters are gonna look amazing on your wall.
Read more “Horror Hangers – Monsters For Your Wall”
Santa Muerte? Is that like Santa Claus? Do I get presents? Do I have to wear a tacky sweater? Nah. This Santa Muerte Book Of The Dead Tarot Card Deck is a powerful tool for working with the mysticism associated with the Day of the Dead and Santa Muerte. Deal me in and give me a reading. *Throws poker chips on the table* I call. What do you mean I can’t call? Fine, I’ll bluff instead. No? Fine, I fold.
Damn son! Why is that zombie running after me instead of slowly shambling and letting me get away? That’s because the zombies got their hands on a batch of Double Caffeine Zombie Joe Z Bold Coffee. And so can you! If it gets zombies going all day long, it will get you going in the morning too. Zombie Joe! It makes life interesting! *Runs away from zombies at full speed.*