Category: Just Plain Weird

Plague Doctor Lamp – Adorable Ambience

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Plague Doctor Lamp - Adorable Ambience

Plague doctor, plague doctor what’s all the fuss? Been waiting for 4 hours, draining out the pus. P doctor, where you been? 50 in the graveyard and more to go in. That’s a little song. Let’s just call that in progress. Anywho, check out this creepy and cool Plague Doctor Lamp. Isn’t that little guy adorable? He’s reading by lantern light. Probably brushing up on his bedside manner or something. Not that he needs to. This guy is cute as hell and you’ll feel better just knowing that he’s on the case.

He just makes me smile. This Plague Doctor Lamp is the perfect light to read by and if you feel ill, well the doctor is in. You can choose from several different lamp colors. It pairs well with this Plague Doctor Doll. I’m obsessed with both.

The Shining Pizza Cutter – Here’s Johnny!

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

The Shining Pizza Cutter - Here's Johnny!

It would have been a whole different movie if Jack Torrance had this The Shining Pizza Cutter. For one thing he never would have busted the door down with this thing, but if he did manage to get in, he would have sliced up your pizza to perfection. See, he’s not such a bad guy. Here’s Johnny. And here’s your once beautiful pizza pie, all sliced and diced and in a million pieces.

The Shining Pizza Cutter. It even has the famous quote on the handle. On the other side is the movie logo. All work and no pizza makes Jack a dull boy. Hey, when you don’t have pizza, you get hungry. Hungry leads to hangry and hangry leads to you going a little off the rails. It happens. I wouldn’t try to slice this Nightmare on Elm Street Animated Soul Pizza though.

Pillbug Action Figures – I’m Dread-Pilled

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Pillbug Action Figures - I'm Dread-Pilled

Oh man, these Pillbug Action Figures are freakin’ cool. I’m red-pilled, or is it black-pilled? I can never keep it straight.  I’m Dread-Pilled. Totally pillbugged the fug out! I can finally play with nasty dirt creatures in my own home, in a way that won’t gross me out. Whose up for a cool pillbug action figures fight? My house. Tomorrow. At noon. I’m ready to mash these crazy ugly bugs together as we make noises. Sadly, my mom will find whatever the cheap version is and buy me that. I wouldn’t be surprised if she glued a bunch of Prozac to some bug legs. It’s happened before ya know.

Look honey, I got you the latest popular action figure. This one is even better because it is a real pill bug. Yeah thanks. Why couldn’t you tell me before I had it all in mouth, like the 5 year old that I am?

It’s a thrill bug baby. Or a chill bug. Depending on what medication she had in her purse when she manufactured it like Mommy Mattel in her crazy kid’s lab, whipping up all kinds of child unfriendly toys. Yeah, mom is a lot weird.

Gothic Bat Hand Towels

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Gothic Bat Hand Towels
Check out these super cool Gothic Bat Hand Towels. These look so cool. I don’t care if your bathroom is in a giant haunted mansion, an old victorian, or a trailer, these towels are going to goth up your guano room. They are great for Halloween, but I’m going to use these every day. Cuz I’m a good boy. I always wash my hands. These hand towels are soft and durable and feature an image of a bat and a crescent moon. I love it. Do you love it? Of course, you do. It’s 80% polyester, 20% cotton, and 100% awesome. Dry those hands on some Gothic Bat Hand Towels after you wash them. And if you don’t pick some of these up? Then you better dry your eyes with something else because you’ll be crying at the missed opportunity. I just love that design. Speaking of great design, check out this cool Bat crop top.

Nightmare Halloween Pumpkin Skulls

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Nightmare Halloween Pumpkin Skulls
Holy hell these are some terrifying Nightmare Halloween Pumpkin Skulls. I’ve seen my share of skeletons, skulls, bones, brains ghosts, ghouls, goblins and other assorted horrors, but I’ve never seen any skulls scarier than these. If you have these horrors on your porch this Halloween, the kids that come to your door are going to be scared senseless. You may hear a lot of screaming, followed by running on the big night. You no good little brats aren’t going to be smashing these pumpkins. These here pumpkins can defend themselves. These undead heads are hungry and ready to eat and I’m pretty sure they aren’t after any candy. In fact candy will be littering the streets this Halloween as children and adults disappear mysteriously. Which is great for me actually. I’m gonna bring a snow shovel and a pick up truck and clean it all up. Man these things are freaky looking. It is now truly a Halloween of horrors now that I have seen them. If I could find a mask like these Nightmare Halloween Pumpkin Skulls, I would so win Halloween and get whatever prize one gets for winning the best part of October. Also check out these cool pumpkin appendages.