Tag: action figures

Pillbug Action Figures – I’m Dread-Pilled

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Pillbug Action Figures - I'm Dread-Pilled

Oh man, these Pillbug Action Figures are freakin’ cool. I’m red-pilled, or is it black-pilled? I can never keep it straight.  I’m Dread-Pilled. Totally pillbugged the fug out! I can finally play with nasty dirt creatures in my own home, in a way that won’t gross me out. Whose up for a cool pillbug action figures fight? My house. Tomorrow. At noon. I’m ready to mash these crazy ugly bugs together as we make noises. Sadly, my mom will find whatever the cheap version is and buy me that. I wouldn’t be surprised if she glued a bunch of Prozac to some bug legs. It’s happened before ya know.

Look honey, I got you the latest popular action figure. This one is even better because it is a real pill bug. Yeah thanks. Why couldn’t you tell me before I had it all in mouth, like the 5 year old that I am?

It’s a thrill bug baby. Or a chill bug. Depending on what medication she had in her purse when she manufactured it like Mommy Mattel in her crazy kid’s lab, whipping up all kinds of child unfriendly toys. Yeah, mom is a lot weird.

Yeti Vs. Sasquatch Sensual Roleplay Set and Other Wrong Minifigures

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Yeti Vs. Sasquatch Sensual Roleplay Set and Other Wrong Minifigures
This Yeti Vs. Sasquatch minifigure set is… A bit… Different… This “Sensual Roleplay Set” makes me feel weird, also slightly turned on. The Yeti Vs. Sasquatch rivalry is heating up.

In a weird way. With a creepy sensual twist. One has a camera. One has a popsicle-shaped paddle.

It’s gonna be a strange showdown!

This is just one of many minifigure sets from Action Figure Therapy. All are just plain wrong in one way or another, but none are as wrong as this hairy duo.

Awesome Cryptozoology Cryptid Action Figures

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Cryptozoology Cryptid Action Figures
Forget GI Joes and Star Wars figures. These Cryptozoology Cryptid Action Figures are the toys you need to be playing with. The set includes Bigfoot, Yeti, Loch Ness Monster, Jackalope, Kraken, Furry Trout, and Coelacanth. Man, I hope they release a UFO playset so I can have the aliens drop Bigfoot off to harass people.

Also gonna mix these with some Gangster action figures so I can pit the bloods against the Crypts… tids.

Funko Horror Classics ReAction Figures

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Funko Horror Classics ReAction Figures
Funko Horror Classics ReAction Figures are the Kenner style horror figures that we should have had way back in the day. That’s okay, cuz now you can collect them. Jason is here, Michael Myers, Freddy, Ghostface, pinhead and more. They are the same size, so you can totally introduce them to your Star Wars figures. I’m gonna have Freddy blow up the Death Star while Jason instructs him in the ways of the Jedi. Then I’m gonna have Pinhead make sweet love to Princess Leia while Jabba watches. Oh yeah.
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Mad Monsters Series 1 Action Figures – Why So Angry?

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Mad Monsters Series 1 Action Figures

You mad bro? Drop rip my face off k? Do you like monsters? Do you like retro toys? These Mad Monsters Series 1 Action Figures are what you want to play with. You get Human Wolfman, Dreadful Dracula, Monster Frankenstein and Horrible Mummy. Why is Mummy horrible? Cuz she never leaves me alone when I’m playing video games and always makes me clean the cat box and stuff. Whatevs. She’s not the boss of me. I do what I want! I’m getting really off track here. The point is, these figures are cool.
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