Strange Figure Stalks a Moose

Strange Figure Stalks a MooseCheck out this footage from Canada that shows a moose by the side. It’s being stalked by some alien creeper figure. The woman who filmed this didn’t notice the odd entity at the time, but later spotted it when she looked at the video. All I know is that it’s pale. That tells me it needs more sun. It probably lives underground or in a cave and it’s out hunting lunch. Come to think of it, this is probably how I look when I’m out hunting lunch at Burger King.
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Baked Alien Art Doll

Baked Alien Art Doll
This Alien Art Doll is one toke over the line. Or five. Dude is totally baked. Looks like he’s drooling out of his alien talk-hole too. Whatever planet his body is on, dude’s mind is in the outer limits. Wait! What the-? Are his hands really little toes, with a toenail on each? What the deuce? This guy is totally baked and I would be too if I looked like him.

Alien Sleep Mask Is A No Sleep Mask For Your Partner

Alien Sleep Mask
I can see two scenarios happening when you wear this Alien Sleep Mask. One- You wake up screaming thinking that you are being abducted, then get up and look in the mirror after pulling this mask up above your eyes, only to realize that YOU were the alien all along. That’s an M. Night Shamalamadingdong twist right there. Or two – Your wife wakes up next you, looks over at you and starts screaming. Meanwhile, the real aliens run out of the room like WTF.

Functional Alien Xenomorph Pez dispenser

Functional Alien Xenomorph Pez dispenser
What’s this? Pez? Did someone say Pez? Ohhhh I love that candy. It’s a Functional Alien Xenomorph Pez dispenser? Whatevs. Like I care. I just want the sweet taste of candy on my tongue. Come here, baby. Flip that alien neck and give me the good stuff. *Tongues dispenser way too erotically.* Oh, that’s good. I can taste it- AHHHHHHHHH! why you bit mah ton off? AHHHHH! Da blood! Da blood! Now I’m gone talk dis way fur eva! Tanks a lot for da peach im-bediment!

Cosmo Sock Alien Plush

Cosmo Sock Alien Plush
Awww. Look how cute the Cosmo Sock Alien Plush is. So adorable. Look at those hearts on their bodies. Hearts mean love. So when they forage around your fecal fortress with their special probes, they’re just loving on you. Hmmm. I guess that applies to some humans too. Don’t be fooled by these cute plushies. Aliens are dangerous! Never forget! I don’t even wear clean underwear anymore or wipe myself, cuz if they come for me, they’re gonna find a nasty surprise! Surprise alien mofos! Either clean me up or toss me back! Preferably both.