Life Size Alien Chestburster Statue

Life Size Alien Chestburster Statue
Check out this Life Size Alien Chestburster Statue.

Oh man, I don’t feel so good. Must have been something I ate. I think I’m just gonna lie down over- AHHHHHHH! Something’s ripping up my insides and for once it’s not a fart. OH GOD! OH GOD! *Alien bursts out of my chest* Are you as surprised to see me as I am to see you? Cool. Technically you’re my kid you know. I just gave birth to you. And I want to thank you for being considerate enough to not burst out of my rectum. *Kisses his slimy head, then it bites my face off*

Hong Kong Taxi Attacked By Ghost or Alien Energy Beam

Hong Kong Taxi Attacked By Ghost or Alien Energy Beam
Holy crap guys! It looks like no one is safe from ghosts or aliens. I’m not sure which is responsible for this incident, but check out the amazing video here. About 14 seconds into the video that taxi gets slammed with some kind of energy beam. Could be a really pissed off ghost, but I think it looks more like an energy weapon. I have no answers, but the truth is out there. All I know is, it looks like somebody really wanted to probe this taxi driver’s back seat real bad!

Cheeto Alien In A Tub Figurine With Glowing Water

Alien In A Tub Figurine
So that happened. Now you know what it looks like when an alien takes a relaxing bath. It looks like this may be the elusive Cheeto species of alien, so I’m surprised he didn’t dissolve in the water. Anyway, now you can own your very own Alien In A Tub Figurine. The water even glows under a black light. I’m glad his Cheeto alien privates are underwater. I don’t need to be seeing an alien Cheeto d**k! Hmmm. Maybe that’s what a bag of Cheetos is: just a big bag of alien d**ks! Let that sink in.

Alien Xenomorph Blood Splattered 8-Bit Pop! Vinyl Figure

Alien Xenomorph Blood Splattered 8-Bit Pop! Vinyl Figure
How would you like to walk down a dark spaceship corridor and see this Alien Xenomorph staring at you? Honestly, I wouldn’t mind as long as he brought some doughnuts. I’d probably eat all of the doughnuts first and then scream. That’s just good manners when someone brings you a gift. At first, I saw all of the green on this figure and I’m like, “Is that boogers? It looks like boogers.” Then I remembered that aliens have green blood and I’m like, “Hmmm. I have flicked a lot of blood on my walls. Even by alien standards.”

Alien Mother Statue From An Alien Mother Ship

Alien Mother Statue
She is beauty, she is grace, she’s here to abduct your face. This Alien Mother Statue may make you question your religion. Like, why are you praying to this thing? Don’t you know that they abduct people and play air hockey in your bunghole? Apparently, that’s science where they come from. She has light pink glitter in her hair and she’s praying. Praying that she finds a new victim tonight.