Have a coffin or two with your coffee. This Coffin Coffee and Side Table will make your home look like some mortician owned coffee shop. They can customize these in any color combo you want. I bet they could even put a fake body inside for those who like a full-bodied coffee. Get it? Would you like some cream-atorium with your coffee?
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Tag: coffee table
Ouija Board Coffee Table and 4 Planchette Coasters
This Ouija Board Coffee Table is cool and all, but every time a spirit has something to say, one of the planchettes knocks my coffee over. Then I ask, “Are you done?” and it hovers over the word NO. Seriously? It seems to be okay with me drinking wine and spirits though. This table comes with 4 planchette coasters so your drinks can be carried around the table like a cat riding a roomba. Every time you try to grab one it slides away cuz it’s trying to spell out Pepsi cuz it disagrees with your soda choice. What the hell man.
Might as well have planchette races with this table and bet on which one delivers the message first. Of course the good thing about a Qija board table is that you can use food too. Drop an onion ring and watch it slide around spelling out words. Drop some spaghetti and watch as the pasta becomes letters. Spooky.
Ouija Board Coffee Table And Carpet
Sadly I can’t buy this cool Ouija Board Coffee Table And Carpet design, but if I could, I would wait patiently for Mormons, Jehovah’s Witness’ and other assorted door to door creepers, and invite them in. Yes you can tell me all about Jesus. Sit and have some coffee. I’ll go brew some.
*Flicks switch, activating the ghostly voices in the hidden speaker system. Also grabs the remote control which activates the wheels I installed on the planchette. Watches on the monitor as I make it spell out G-E-T…T-H-E…F**K…O-U-T!*
They run screaming.
That was fun. Now to post it to YouTube.
Ouija Board Coffee Table
Thanks for inviting me over for coffee. What’s this?
That’s my new Ouija Board Coffee Table. Let’s ask it a question.
Cool. I’ll start? Are there any spirits in the house?
*Grabs a bottle of Jim Beam and smashes it against his head.*
There’s your f**king spirits! What are you crazy? I hate ghosts.
Jason Voorhees Coffee Table
Looks like Jason Voorhees was finally put to rest. Inside of this Jason Voorhees Coffee Table. Little known fact. Jason once worked at the grocery store, where he first became known as a slasher. Price slasher that is. That man could knock 3 cents off a can of beans, tag it with the price gun, and you would swear you got 10 cents off. He was that good. That was before he traded in his price gun for a machete.
This killer coffee table comes from Australian company Slaughter FX and it will slaughter your wallet, like your wife suddenly had octuplets and all you have to your name is a Ford Pinto and your paper route. It’s not a time I remember fondly, but there was no way I was gonna let her pin those grabby little Cephalopods on me. That’s a whole other story.
Anyhow the Slaughter FX website lists the table as being sold out, but maybe you can beg them to make you one. They are $600 with a glass top, and $500 without.
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