Illuminati in da house! Shhhhhhh! We don’t talk about them. Ever. Anyway, this Liquorbrand Ouija Board Gothic Symbols Purse has all kinds of Ouija Board symbols and even an Illuminati eye in the center. Did I not just tell you to shut your mouth? Just talkin’ bout Shaft. I mean Illuminati! That’s it! We told you that the first rule of Illuminati is that you don’t talk about Illuminati. And you just keep blabbing on and on. Yeah, well you just talked about ’em. I’m just trying to make a point. You keep- Looks like we’re both out of the club. You son of a-
Tag: creepy
Guy Finds Chupacabra Skull
This guy had his metal detector with him cuz he was looking to find something to make him rich. Aren’t we all? Well, it was his dog that ended up finding the treasure that fateful day. Nightmare treasure. Not black gold. Not Texas tea. And next thing ya know old Jed ain’t a millionaire. But he did find a Chupacabra skull thanks to his dog. So now he is the proud owner of a Chupacabra cranium. I know what you’re thinking. Looks like a cat skull right? I don’t think so. Those teeth are huge.
The treasure hunter at one point said, “this is what nightmares are made of.” When asked to clarify, he pointed toward the house where his wife waited in the doorway wearing a moo-moo and sipping a Big Gulp then said, “This skull is pretty frightening too.”
Okay, I made that last part up cuz I’m just real excited about this Chupacabra skull. It’s real guys. You know it and I know it.
via KOB
Gothic Ravenskull Headdress
This Gothic Ravenskull Headdress puts bird skulls on your own skull. Obviously this is what people are raven about this season, while others crow. Speaking of, I always confuse ravens and crows. I once asked my dad, “Why are ravens and crows different?” and he said, “Just caws”. Very helpful as usual dad. Ravenskull sounds like one of them Harry Potter houses that the sorting hat picks out for you. Like, if you really wanted hufflepuff, but got ravenskull instead. What the hell is hufflepuff anyway. Sounds like the name of a paint huffing clown under some highway bridge. Whatevs.
Vampire Cufflinks
Look at these twin Nosferatu heads. Those are some sweet Vampire Cufflinks. I’m assuming that rather than attaching them to your cuffs yourself, they just kinda bite down and do it themselves. Probably drawing some blood in the process. So that by the time you get done with your fancy event, you basically have bled out. I can’t decide if they are ugly or cute. Maybe both. Great accessory. Maybe bring some band aids with you.
They beat these Human Teeth Cufflinks.
Horror Film Knives
These Horror Film Knives are going to look great in your kitchen. They are for “decorative purposes only”, but I’m a rebel so I’m gonna chop my vegetables with these maybe display one sticking out of a pumpkin or something. That’s one way to scare up some dinner. Ha ha ha. I made a funny. Anywho, these are great for horror fans. I’m not only a fan, but I’ve been in the horror business for… Let’s see, how long have I been married? I kid. I kid. But seriously, these knives will make company think twice about eating at your place.