Look at these twin Nosferatu heads. Those are some sweet Vampire Cufflinks. I’m assuming that rather than attaching them to your cuffs yourself, they just kinda bite down and do it themselves. Probably drawing some blood in the process. So that by the time you get done with your fancy event, you basically have bled out. I can’t decide if they are ugly or cute. Maybe both. Great accessory. Maybe bring some band aids with you.
They beat these Human Teeth Cufflinks.
Give the man in your life these Silver Skull Cufflinks and Skull Tie Clip. They are an awesome accessory. Normally, skull and crossbones means poison, so nobody will touch your man or they gonna die! Seriously though, they look pretty awesome. Also great for pirates, whether they are of or not of the Caribbean. They are much better than these human teeth cufflinks.
Sure, you could wear Human Teeth Cufflinks to a fancy event… Or you could just make them on scene, which is the method I prefer. Usually I just punch somebody in the mouth, and hide in the closet with the unconscious and now toothless victim while I am attaching teeth to my cufflinks with a hot glue gun. Then I snap my cuffs, adjust my tie and leave like James Bond. I’m all about the instant DIY.
Then when I leave I find the same guy and punch him again and hot glue them back in his face, cuz I always give back. I’m not a dick.
Phrenology is the study of the head. True science. You can learn a lot by looking at a head. Like if it has lice or hasn’t been washed in like 5 days. So totally true. These Phrenology Head Cufflinks honor this science and put some classic looking cue balls on your cuffs.
Go ahead, feel my head and tell me all about my metal disorders and personality traits.
*Touches my head and massages my scalp.* This spot says that you are a very creative person.
Nah, that’s just where I fell and hit my head. Although I was creatively doing Jackass stunts at the time and having my friend hit me in the nuts while going down a windy mountain road doing about 50 in a shopping cart.
This area is all about your sex life.
Is it small? Is it a tiny area? Yeah, then that’s accurate too.
See, it’s a real science. No doubt about it.
These Gothic Gargoyle Cufflinks are gonna look great at that big shindig you are planning on attending soon. Whatever a shindig is. Sounds painful in the legs. You know what else is painful? Wearing a stone Gargoyle on each cuff. That’s what the mob calls it when they attach concrete to your hands and drop you in the river. Cement shoes. Concrete Converse. Sometimes Gargoyle cufflinks.
“You know too much. Vinny, fit this guy for some Gargoyle Cufflinks and give him a little boat ride.”
“No! I swear I never stole your mama’s Marinara recipe! Don’t kill me. Don’t kill me. Just curious, why Gargoyle cufflinks? Why not just a bag of cement on each hand? I swear I’ll never cross the Transylvanian mob again. Please! You guys are friggin weirdos!”