Tag: duct tape

Duck Tape Scents: Fix Stuff, Make It Smell Good

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duct tape scents
You can fix anything with Duct Tape/Duck Tape and now you can make those things smell pleasant thanks to Duck Tape Scents. At first I thought this was tape that smelled like a duck, but I was just being a silly goose.

You feeling plucky punk? Then grab some Duck Tape Scents and start fixing stuff. Look people, stuff that is fixed in a redneck way isn’t supposed to smell like flowers or candy. It’s supposed to smell like Pabst Blue Ribbon, Chicken wings and shame. Cuz you spilled it on your tape before you used it.

They come in so many scents, it’s really ducked up.

Bacon Duct Tape

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bacon duct tape
Give me some Bacon Duct Tape and I’ll be wrecking stuff on purpose so I can put bacon all over everything. My wife: Why does the rake have a bacon handle? Did you do some “body work” on my car? Why does it have a bacon roof in the design of the confederate flag like The Dukes of Hazzard? Why did I come home to a bacon crime scene and have to duck under bacon tape to get inside?

The answer to all of these questions is surprisingly simple…. Bacon.

Duck Tape Still Life Painting

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duct tape duck painting
Do you say duct tape or duck tape? It’s clearly duck tape. Strong enough for a duck, but made for a duct. Doesn’t matter. This artist doesn’t give a cluck what you think. The Duck Tape Still Life Painting is a classy piece of art for your wall.

Or you could just duct tape a purdue chicken to your wall. Now that’s some interactive art. Between the flies and the decomposing, you are going to have one heck of an art show, not to mention a health hazard, for many months to come.

Duct Tape Teddy Bear: Build-A-Bear…On A Budget

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

duct tape teddy bearAwww. It’s a duct tape teddy bear. I’m gonna call him the Gimp and use him as a stress reliever. What’s that? This late fee is going to cost me like $40 bucks extra??? BRING OUT THE GIMP! AND GET MY BAT! Another f***ing telemarketer called? THE GIMP! AT ONCE! I really don’t understand these taxes. You mean the more I make, the more I owe? GIMP! TO ME! NOW!

I hope he’s built solid cause I have a lot of issues. My therapist will be pleased that I’m not taking it out on his furniture every time he sighs and calls a bathroom break.

“Why are you so out of breath and why is my couch all torn apart and full of holes?”

“The same reason your bathroom smells like Mary Jane. Stress relief. You needed a break from me and I needed to justify paying $400 a session when I could just-”

“Let’s talk about your mother. I-”

“YOU ARE LOOKING A LOT LIKE THE GIMP DOCTOR! TIME FOR YOUR SESSION!”
Read more “Duct Tape Teddy Bear: Build-A-Bear…On A Budget”

Duct Tape Tie

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Duct Tape TieDuct tape is the answer to so many questions. Now it is the answer to good business attire. Nothing says, “I’m a go-getter who can fix things on the fly” like a tie made out of duct tape.

It goes well with the duct tape mask. Get yourself a duct tape suit and you are the coolest man in the world.