This Octopus Cuff Bracelet is buff and tough and on the cuff. He’s kinda tender, kinda rough. Sadly, I’ve reached my rhyming limit for the day. This guy is large and in charge and super shiny. It’s like the kind of jewelry that an Octopus Queen would wear while summoning a Kraken. I bet it deflects bullets like Wonder Woman’s cuffs too, but don’t take my word on that. Makes me want to start an octopus jewelry business called Octopus Inc. Get it? I know, I’m a riot. Mostly cuz your silence is beating at me like a hundred police right now.
Tag: shiny
Labradorite Mini Skulls
Oh, shiny! These Labradorite Mini Skulls shimmer like a rainbow. It’s like the end of the rainbow is at a mass grave, with a leprechaun dancing a jig above. Labradorite… That’s a fun word. Say it with me. Lab-ra-dor-ite. There is no labradorwrong, only labradorite. These are some of the shiniest skulls I’ve ever seen and I used to have a job waxing and buffing that Pawn Stars guy’s head. We parted ways when he started that, “I’m sorry, our expert says that your services are only worth five dollars” crap. I wanted 50. That guy never names a fair price.
These are so pretty my skull hertz. Nah, I spelled that fine. It mega-hertz! Glad we’re on the same frequency. Normally to get these skulls you would have to hire a Labradorite Retriever and have him sniff them out, but you can just click the link above. I’m sure they are a Labra of love for the artist. Heh. I slay me. *Cough* No, really. Just slayed me. *Cough* Backed right into a decorative Hobbit sword. *Coughs blood* Avenge me!
Steampunk Skull Purse
Now you can keep your stuff inside of a shiny metal head. Which beats a shiny metal butt. This Steampunk Skull Purse will hold all of your stuff. It’s got all kinds of gears and whatnot and the head opens up all cool like.
I’m pretty sure this is one of my ex-girlfriends, cuz there’s nothing in that pretty head and you can see the gears moving, but still nothing but a vacant stare. Nobody’s home.
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Lifesize Chrome Skeleton
What’s up chrome bones? You’re looking shiny, but I’m not sure if you’re supposed to be a fancy lady or a dangerous pimp- *SMACK* Well, that answers that question. You got a firm pimp hand and I respect that. No, I swear I haven’t been holding out on you. I wouldn’t do- *SMACK* Damn dude, chill. Okay, okay. *Reaches into my man-bra and pulls out a wad of dollar bills* Have all of it. Geesh! That was supposed to be my pizza money. Anyhow, looks like I’m working for you now. Should I just put on some rouge and fishnets or hit the corner as I am? You’re right, I should probably put on some pants first. Can’t give it away for free after all. Laterz pimp daddy. Your hand and my face will negotiate terms later.
This Lifesize Chrome Skeleton can be dressed up, posed, hung from a second story window, buried, burned, sent down a steep hill in a barrel… You can do whatever you want with it. Just respect his pimp hand and he’ll treat ya right.
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Mirrorman Suits
Behold the mighty Mirrorman! His super power? Reflecting every got-damnned thing with his suit. He is the ultimate “I’m rubber, you’re glue. Whatever you throw bounces off me and sticks to you!” superhero. Light. Check. Images. Check. Hammer. Oh man, sorry about that dude. How many tiny mirrors you got on that suit? About 1000? What’s a 1000 times 7? Oh poopy! That is A LOT of bad luck!
That suit is like a black hole of bad luck just waiting to happen. Of course it was me. Why in the HELL would you walk around with that thing? That is irresponsible on like a cosmic level! You can’t just give out that kind of atomic bomb luck!
Oh hell! Just stepped on a nail. Whew! That was close. Shoe stopped it. Anyway- *Gets hit by a football, which bounces onto a nearby car going 80. Car swerves. Hits me into Mirrorman, who cuts me like a million times and gives even more bad luck. Plus, I gotta pay for that suit now!* WTF?
Check out another suit below. Screw this guy!
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