Give me some Bacon Duct Tape and I’ll be wrecking stuff on purpose so I can put bacon all over everything. My wife: Why does the rake have a bacon handle? Did you do some “body work” on my car? Why does it have a bacon roof in the design of the confederate flag like The Dukes of Hazzard? Why did I come home to a bacon crime scene and have to duck under bacon tape to get inside?
The answer to all of these questions is surprisingly simple…. Bacon.
Bacon this, bacon that. Don’t you eat anything but bacon? “No, I do not. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to see a doctor about a coronary.”
These Bacon Scented Pillowcases will let you smell the sweet scent of burning pig flesh even when you are not frying it up in a pan. So for me that would be my mid-day nap when I’m between servings of this delicious treat. It’s a pillowcase. It smells like bacon. Enough said!
You know what I just realized? I’m so silly. My pillowcase already smells like bacon. Thanks drool!
These meat ornaments will look good on my tree this year. There’s nothing like a tree full of steaks to get a jolly fat man to leave you more gifts. It worked for me last year. I got a Christmas miracle. Sort of.
Last year I threw all kinds of meat on my tree, steaks, fish, lunch meat, I even made a star out of hot dogs and rubber bands. I just knew that tubby old elf couldn’t resist. I lay in bed that night listening to the noise of Santa rummaging around and bumping into stuff. He hissed several times and even broke some of my knick knacks.
In the morning my sleepy eyes awakened to the magic day. I went out to the tree..The damn cats had attacked the tree like furry piranha. They were still gorging themselves. The Christmas miracle under my tree was a ring of cat s**t all the way around. Another ring of cat vomit around that.
Meat. It would have worked if not for those damned cats!
This Fou Lard Bacon scarf looks delicious. It should keep you warm in the winter months and not make your neck all greasy like the real thing. Fun fact: The French word for a silk scarf is foulard. So…Fou Lard. That’s word play. Which is foreplay for scrabble players. I think.
Basically the guys who make this say that the word is composed by fou (insane) and lard (bacon). If bacon is insane then call my frying pan an asylum and lets give ’em all some really hot therapy. The doctor is in and it’s a good day when all of the patients end up in my tummy.
Do I even know what I’m saying? Not really? I’m mesmerized by the idea of bacon on one’s neck.
Read more “Fou Lard Bacon Scarf”
Ok, so I’m looking at the poster, but I’m not seeing where the bacon is. Nor do I see where hot dogs come from. I can tell you that the pork pooper is not at all what I thought it would be.
This $145 vintage poster from Ebay will teach you all kinds of things about the anatomy of Pigs. The most important thing that I took away from this is that I really could use a bacon sandwich. Oh, and what a pig pooper looks like.