Tag: easter bunny

Felt Dissected Easter Bunny: No Bunny Knows Easter Like The Coroner Bunny

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

dissected easter bunny
The Easter Bunny has seen better days that’s for sure. This Felt Dissected Easter Bunny shows the furry deliverer of chocolates and sweets after he has been opened up by some coroner. Apparently he died of high cholesterol judging by those undigested eggs(And Easter grass) in his stomach.

Poor guy. By poor guy, I mean me. He died before he could deliver my Cadbury eggs and Peeps this year. Now what the hell am I gonna do? Somebody elect a new Easter bunny STAT! Is it an elected office? We have to save Easter!

*Buys a bunny suit and hits the candy isle at the local Walmart. Damn! Fatties have cleared the shelves. Hits some grocery stores. Buys everything they have. Easter will be saved!*

Easter day… *Lays in the corner groaning amid empty candy wrappers and foil. Chocolate all over my bunny suit. Ears bent to hell. In a drugged out candy coma. A swarm of bunnies burst through the door and pile onto me, beating the crap out of me with bunny limbs.*

I’m sorry. I meant to save Easter, but it’s mine. It’s all mine!*crying* I’m sick, I need help! I’ll get better I swear. I’ll go to rehab. Just one more Peep first. No, don’t eat me! *tears*

Leaping Lizards: Handmade Costumes For Bearded Dragons

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

lizard costumes
Etsy seller PamperedBeardies makes all kinds Handmade clothes for lizards, because you don’t want lizards just waving their junk all over the place. Hey, I have a beard! Nobody ever pampers me. Well, except for that one night in the hotel with the midget, but that was a box of Huggies, not Pampers. And as far as I know I got rid of all of the evidence afterwards, except for the talcum powder smell.

Get your lizard an awesome shark costume, Princess Leia, a Mexican Fiesta costume, the Easter Bunny and more. What, no tuxedo? No business suit? What if my lizard wants a career?
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Easter Bunny Crucifiction Oil Painting

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

easter bunny jesusHere is an uplifting painting to display during Easter. It stars the Easter bunny as Jesus Christ. He died for our sins. Our Easter sins. Like not buying enough candy for kids baskets and using extra plastic grass so you can skimp on a few sugary peeps. Or buying candy the day after Easter half price. You sinners know who you are. Dad.

Here you see the Jeaster Bunny in three forms for the three days it took Jesus Christ to rise from the grave, according to the biblical text. On the left, the Easter Bunny is happy, standing with his basket of colorful eggs, ready to deliver them to kids. In the center, things take a dark turn, as he is being crucified. Delicious candy Peeps mourn below the cross. Then our candy delivering bunny and savior claws his way out of his grave. He has been resurrected! Hallelujah! And run like hell!