Sure, this Large Felt Anatomy Play Set is probably made for kids, but I’m pretty confident it will work on someone with my IQ too. Maybe I can use it to figure out why everything in my body hurts right now. Thanks flu! You get a board and 16 felt organs. Those are some nice quality organs too. Nice attention to detail. The only thing missing is a felt piece of poo to move through the colon. You know, to make it interactive. It would also replicate my current experience over the past 48 hours.
Tag: felt
Sewn Bones: Plush Animal Skeletons
Floozey (Hey,didn’t we meet in a seedy bar one night?) makes these cool, cuddly and creepy Sewn Bones: Plush Animal Skeletons. Experience the softer side of skeletons. You can choose from rats, a two-headed Pug, a Dragon’s head and more. At least these bones will never be broken.
I’m gonna get the rat and name it Cal C. Um. Maybe I’ll get the Pug too and call their heads Ribby Allen and Mia Marrow. Hell, I’ll just have a plush menagerie of bone pets.
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Jason Voorhees Plush Chi Chi Chi Ha Ha Ha
Cuddle up with this Jason Voorhees plush if you want, but don’t take your eyes off of him. He’s kind of adorable. For a serial killer. Those people deserved it anyway. If only he could kill bad actors in OTHER movies! Hopefully he won’t go crazy on Friday the 13th and kill everyone you love.
Maybe you can watch the movies together and get him to give you some commentary. Hey, I don’t care what you two do. I don’t judge. Unlike some people who judge others by going around and slashing them to death. If you do buy this, get him a little plush therapist for God’s sake.
Sloth in a Matchbox
Hey a Sloth in a Matchbox. He looks super comfy in there too. Makes me think of my dear departed grandmother. She used to always say, “Get up you lazy idiot. You’re like a sloth in a matchbox!” Yeah, too bad I’m not a sloth in a matchbox wearing headphones you old- Then the frying pan would hit me in the head.
That’s horrible. You said departed. When did your grandmother die?
Die? Look at this knot on my skull. Does that look like she left this Earth? She got this sloth out of the matchbox and departed for the grocery store. That crazy old bat. Is it odd that I like to sleep on matchstick shavings? Now if you’ll excuse me this sloth is going back to bed. Extinguish all lit cigarettes please.
Felt Dissected Easter Bunny: No Bunny Knows Easter Like The Coroner Bunny
The Easter Bunny has seen better days that’s for sure. This Felt Dissected Easter Bunny shows the furry deliverer of chocolates and sweets after he has been opened up by some coroner. Apparently he died of high cholesterol judging by those undigested eggs(And Easter grass) in his stomach.
Poor guy. By poor guy, I mean me. He died before he could deliver my Cadbury eggs and Peeps this year. Now what the hell am I gonna do? Somebody elect a new Easter bunny STAT! Is it an elected office? We have to save Easter!
*Buys a bunny suit and hits the candy isle at the local Walmart. Damn! Fatties have cleared the shelves. Hits some grocery stores. Buys everything they have. Easter will be saved!*
Easter day… *Lays in the corner groaning amid empty candy wrappers and foil. Chocolate all over my bunny suit. Ears bent to hell. In a drugged out candy coma. A swarm of bunnies burst through the door and pile onto me, beating the crap out of me with bunny limbs.*
I’m sorry. I meant to save Easter, but it’s mine. It’s all mine!*crying* I’m sick, I need help! I’ll get better I swear. I’ll go to rehab. Just one more Peep first. No, don’t eat me! *tears*