Damn, that is one realistic old man sculpture. He looks just like the guy that shook his fist and told me to get off his lawn yesterday. Hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go. At least I brought my own bag. I’m not an animal. It also looks like that guy who was trying to pay at the Post Office in pennies, but then realized he wanted to mail the pennies. I guess I’m age-ist because all these old people look the same to me. They all shout the same way too. They also all drive through Dunkin Donuts windows the same.
This guy is freaking me out, like he wants to lure me into his old-person-smelling home with hard candy, and tell me boring stories for like 3 hours. 2 hours I don’t mind, cuz it’s good candy, but learn how to edit. I give most of the stories 2 out of 4 stars cuz they lack monsters, dragons and Star Wars stuff.
Damn, that is creepy realistic. I can almost see him reaching for his change purse to see if he has enough to pay for those 11 items in the 10 items or less lane.
You know how it is when you’re living with your grandfather. Old folks start forgetting everything you say the minute you say it. Every time they make toast the smoke detector goes off. Matlock is on the TV 24/7, only broken up by the occasional Golden Girls marathon. Then when you take them out of the house, it’s all, here let me get that sonny, and they pay with every penny they have ever collected, out of a coin purse that must be bigger on the inside like a TARDIS. Well, it might be time to get some nursing help, or put him in a home. Or you could just shove the old coffin dodger in a grandfather clock. That’s why they named it that, right? Must be. Seems legit.