Tag: end times

Praying Mantises Are Killing Birds Worldwide And Eating Their Brains

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Praying Mantises Are Killing Birds Worldwide And Eating Their Brains
So basically Praying Mantises have been biding their time and now that the end is nigh, they are going full zombie and eating the brains of birds all over the world. Seems legit. They no doubt plan on eating bird brains until they absorb all of their flying powers and then we will have a new species that can poop on our heads. Great.

More like Preying Mantises. Am I right? Look at that pic. Dude is just munching on that bird brain as it hangs there. That would be like me hanging out a second story window with my teeth gripping a cow by the head, instead of just having a burger. It’s just showboating, which is why Mantises and me will never get along. Showoff zombie vermin!
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The Hour Is Nigh – Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse Unicorns

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

The Hour Is Nigh - Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse Unicorns
If it isn’t the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse Unicorns! Collect the whole set. Behold, four horrific unicorns: Death, Famine, Pestilence, and War. Not sure, but I think these may be knock-offs cuz I don’t see any cutie marks on their butt. Oh that’s- Nevermind. My bad. Also, I noticed you call them horsemen, but they don’t appear to be horses that look like men. They also don’t have riders. Also, they are unicorns. So what gives?

I’m gonna pit them against each other and save the world! Pestilence can kill War with a plague, Famine can kill Pestilence, Death will kill Famine and… Holy unicorn crap! There’s just no way to beat Death!

Okay, I can do this. Gotta get my head in the game. Instead Famine kills death… But wait, he’s death. How do you kill death? There must be a way to solve this riddle. Start again. Start again. Damn, changing up the order doesn’t work. It’s always death! Death! Death! *Screams, then collects myself with some deep breaths*

Oh well, looks like we are all screwed. I tried! I really tried guys! Death is just too powerful. Hey, at least none of them are named taxes. Am I right?