You know what you put in these Cthulhu Poison Bottles from OrionOddities? I’ll give you a hint. *Makes choking sounds with my hands on my neck and falls over.* What? No, the bottles aren’t poison. You put poison in them. Although I don’t recommend actually doing that. Poison is bad mmmokay? Stay away from the skull and crossbones people. It can only mean two bad things. Pirates and poison. Or pirates who have been poisoned. Or poison that is made by pirates. Three things actually. All bad. I’m gonna put some alcohol inside these and get drunk. It’s just booze, but I call it rubbing alcohol, cuz after a few sips I’ll be going to bed to rub one out. Did I just type that out loud? I was talking about releasing the genie who is obviously inside. Duh!
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Tag: flask
Crazy Plush Specimens In Flasks
If you’ve ever wanted to collect some specimens inside of chemistry flasks, this is your lucky day. Etsy seller carelesspress has several of these Crazy Plush Specimens In Flasks. I have no idea what kinds of specimens these are, but they are plush and probably very highly contagious diseases. Like a prozzy in a fur coat.
Collect them all and be THAT weird scientist guy. You know, the one who isn’t really a scientist, but has plush specimens in jars. Fine, I admit it. It’s me. Except all of my specimens are in jars in my fridge. And they’re plush because they’re mold.
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Flask Tie Is The Best Office Accessory Ever
No need to cure that drinking problem. Just hide it really well. Like, in your flask tie. That way you can drink all day long in the office.
Johnson, file these reports! Sure, no problem. Flips the boss off when his back is turned. Takes a drink.
Johnson, I need you to redo those numbers for the big meeting. Okie dokie sir-eokie. Grumbles. Takes drink.
Johnson, great job in the meeting. You seem really relaxed today. A real go-getter. Thanks bloss. I jus do wat ah can, you know. Glug glug glug.
Johnson, in my office. You are being promoted. Awesome newscast Mr. boss. Mr Applesauce. Let’s celebrate. Celebrate. Dance to the music. Takes a drink from the tie, offers it to the boss. Oh ship. I’m sill in da werk envirament ain’t I?
Johnson, go home.