You know what you put in these Cthulhu Poison Bottles from OrionOddities? I’ll give you a hint. *Makes choking sounds with my hands on my neck and falls over.* What? No, the bottles aren’t poison. You put poison in them. Although I don’t recommend actually doing that. Poison is bad mmmokay? Stay away from the skull and crossbones people. It can only mean two bad things. Pirates and poison. Or pirates who have been poisoned. Or poison that is made by pirates. Three things actually. All bad. I’m gonna put some alcohol inside these and get drunk. It’s just booze, but I call it rubbing alcohol, cuz after a few sips I’ll be going to bed to rub one out. Did I just type that out loud? I was talking about releasing the genie who is obviously inside. Duh!
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Tag: bottles
Harry Potter Skele-Gro Bottles
I don’t know much about Harry Potter, but these Harry Potter Skele-Gro Bottles are neat. Something about mean adoptive parents, an owl that delivers his mail, Dobby the house elf, flying car, broomstick sports, something something Voldemort.
Will it make my skele grow? I have no idea, but I’d be willing to give it a shot, until my skeleton pops out of my insides and becomes my outsides. I’ll probably drink it and find out it doesn’t work and that I’ve been boned. That sounded bad. I mean scammed. Bamboozled, hoodwinked. Not boned. And certainly not against my will. I’m just ribbing ya. I’m sure everything will be spine.
Dr. Frankenstein Antique Apothecary Jar Collection
You need to get your mad scientist lab in order. I’m not saying it isn’t up to code or anything. It’s just that you could use more cool stuff and you want your experiments to get super freaky and wild. Like this Dr. Frankenstein Antique Apothecary Jar Collection. It’s got everything an up and coming insane person could want to re-animate stuff, create mutants, turn your poop rainbow colored etc.
You get a customized jar with a hand sculpted human heart, a jar with a hand sculpted human liver(Goes nice with a bottle of Chianti and some fava beans), an antique style medical battery, a jar of human cadaver eyeballs, a flask on a metal base for blood storage and an antique style medical pump that works. Hot damn. I’m gonna finally create life. And not cuz I got a girl pregnant. *Screams* It’s alive! It’s alive! *Squish* It was a cockroach. I killed it. All good now. Man, I hate those things. What do you have to do to get rid of them? Actually clean your house?
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Monster Bottles Inspired By Lovecraft
These personalized Monster Bottles Inspired By Lovecraft look amazing. OrionOddities makes all kinds. I’mma fill mine with with green soda and call it Montain Cthulu-Dew! Maybe fill ’em with chocolate sludge and call it Goo-Hoo.
Awesome. Did you say they are personalized?
Yeah, they’re pretty cool.
*One week later.*
Here’s your birthday gift!
Oh sweet! The Lovecraft bottles I wanted!
Check it out. I had them personalize them.
*Checks them out.* They all say, “Enjoy your Monster drinks you fat f**k!” *sigh* I will. You are so thoughtful. And descriptive. *tear falls from eye.*
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Drink Up: Create Your Own Potion Bottles
Etsy seller CuriousCircus will let you create your own unique potion bottles. You know, so you can hack a golem to pieces or have enough mana to summon a wicked cool Priestess barely wearing any clothing and carrying a Staff of Eternal Doritos Wand.
I down like 5 stamina potions a day. At least I did, until I found out Mountain Dew is +10 diabetes. Not stamina. They really should change the color. If it’s green it should either be Kryptonite or stamina potion. And pro tip: Mountain Dew red isn’t health potion. Gives you the runs.
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