No need to cure that drinking problem. Just hide it really well. Like, in your flask tie. That way you can drink all day long in the office.

Johnson, file these reports! Sure, no problem. Flips the boss off when his back is turned. Takes a drink.

Johnson, I need you to redo those numbers for the big meeting. Okie dokie sir-eokie. Grumbles. Takes drink.

Johnson, great job in the meeting. You seem really relaxed today. A real go-getter. Thanks bloss. I jus do wat ah can, you know. Glug glug glug.

Johnson, in my office. You are being promoted. Awesome newscast Mr. boss. Mr Applesauce. Let’s celebrate. Celebrate. Dance to the music. Takes a drink from the tie, offers it to the boss. Oh ship. I’m sill in da werk envirament ain’t I?

Johnson, go home.